=●=
=●=
EN243 - Nedelja, 2. XI 2008.
|
|
|
●
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The
lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that
you will be unbearable.
● In
a Leipzig elevator:
Do
not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
● In
a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To
move the cabin, push the button for wishing floor. If the cabin should
enter
more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving
is then
going alphabetically by national order.
|
● In a Paris hotel elevator: Please
leave your valuables at the front desk. ● In a hotel in Athens: Visitors
are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 AM daily. ● In a Yugoslav hotel: The
flattenning of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. ● In a Japanese hotel: You
are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. ● In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery: You
are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers,
artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. |
|
Not
to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of
ascension.
● On
the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our
wines leave you nothing to hope for.
● On
the menu of the Polish hotel:
Salad
a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the
form of
finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country
people's
fashion.
● In
a Hongkong supermarket:
For
your convenience, we recomend courteous, efficient self-service.
● In
a Bangkok dry cleaner:
Drop
your trouses here for best results.
● Outside
Paris dress shop:
Dresses
for street walking.
● Outside
a Hongkong dress shop:
Ladies
have fits upstairs.
● In
a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order
your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in a
strict
rotation.
● From
the Soviet Weekly:
There
will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15.000 Soviet Republic painters
and
sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
|
|
● In an East African newspaper: A
new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractor have
thrown in the bulk of their workers. ● In a Vienna hotel: In
case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter. ● A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and woman, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. ● In
a Zurich hotel: |
● In
an advertisment by a Hongkong dentist:
Teeth
extracted by the latest Methodist.
● A
translated sentence from the Russian chess book:
A
lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has
been
played.
● In
a Rome laundry:
Ladies,
leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
● In
a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take
one of our horse driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
● Advertisment
for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
● On
the faucet in a Finnish washroom:
To
stop the drip, turn cock to right.
● In
the window of a Swedish furrier:
Fur
coats made for ladies from their own skin.
● On
the box of a clockwork toy made in Hongkong:
Guaranteed
to work throughout its useful life.
● Detour
sign in Kyushi, Japan:
Stop;
Drive Sideways.
● In
a Swiss mountain inn:
Special
today - no ice cream.
● In
a Bankok temple:
It
is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
● In
a Tokyo bar:
Special
cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
ROFL
rolling on
floor laughing
ROFLMAO
rolling on floor
laughing my ass off
ROTFL
rolling on
the floor laughing
ROTF
rolling on
the floor
ROTFFLMAO
rolling on the fucking floor
laughing my ass off
ROTFFLMAO
rolling on the fucking floor
laughing my ass off
ROTFFNAR
rolling on the floor for
no apparent reason
|
|
ROTFG rolling on the floor groaning ROTFHMBTNTWMS
rolling on the floor holding my belly trying not to wet my
self ROTFL
ran out to find lunch ROTFL
rave on, tofu-flinging leeches! ROTFL
rolling on the floor laughing ROTFLAHMS
rolling on the floor laughing and holding my side ROTFLAHMS rolling on the floor laughing and holding my stomache ROTFLAHMSATTCMB
rolling on the floor, laughing, and holding
my stomache and trying to catch my breath! |
ROTFLAPUL
rolling on the floor
laughing and picking up lint (also pet hair, cookie crumbs, dings from
sharp
furniture, whatever).
ROTFLASTC
rolling on the floor laughing
and scaring the cat
ROTFLASTHOOMD
rolling on the floor laughing and scaring
the hell out of my dog
ROTFLASTHOOMEKs
rolling on the floor, laughing, and scaring
the heck out of my echo kittens
ROTFLGO
rolling on the floor
laughing guts out
ROTFLMAAOBPO
rolling on the floor laughing my ascii
and other body parts off
ROTFLMAO
rolling on the floor laughing
my ASCII off
ROTFLMAO-PMP2
rolling on the floor laughing my ass
off pissed my pants too!
ROTFLMAOWMP
rolling on the floor laughing my
ass off wet my pants!
ROTFLMHO
rolling on the floor laughing
my head off
ROTFLMHOAMOVHOJ
rolling on the floor laughing my head off at
my own very hilarious old joke.
ROTFLOL
rolling on the floor
laughing out loud
ROTFLOLVH
rolling on the floor laughing
out loud very hard
ROTFLSHICSU
rolling on the floor laughing
so hard I can't sit up
ROTFLSHISMP
rolling on the floor laughing
so hard I shit my pants!
ROTFLSHIWMP
rolling on the floor,
laughing so hard I wet my pants!
ROTFLSHMSH
rolling on the floor laughing
so hard my sides hurt
ROTFLSHTISMP
rolling on the floor laughing so
hard that I shit my pants!
ROTFLSHTIWMP
rolling on the floor laughing so
hard that I wet my pants!
ROTFLSHTIWMP
rolling on the floor laughing so
hard that it's working my pancreas.
ROTFLTIPND
rolling on the floor laughing,
thought I pretty near died
ROTFTTPOF
rolling on the floor trying
to put out flames
|
● Alkoholno
piće - napitak koji čini žene poželjnima (ako ih konzumira muškarac). ● Autobus
- vozilo koje ide dva puta brže kad trčite za njim nego kad sjedite u njemu ● Brak - zajednica u kojoj dvoje ljudi riješavaju
probleme koje ne bi imali da su ostali sami ●
Budilica - instrument izmišljen da
bi budio one koji nemaju malu djecu ●
Ekonomist - ekspert koji će znati
sutra zašto se ono što je predvidio jučer nije dogodilo danas ●
Ginekolog - osoba koja radi tamo
gdje se drugi zabavljaju ●
Intelektualac - osoba koja je u
stanju misliti dva sata na drugo osim na seks ●
Migrena - najviše upotrebljavana
kontracepcija kod žena ●
Pesimist - dobro obaviješteni
optimist ● Ples - vertikalna frustracija horizontalne želje ● Programer - osoba koja na neobjašnjiv način riješi problem
za koji nisi ni znao da ga imaš ● Psiholog - osoba koja gleda ostale kad u prostoriju uđe
lijepa žena |
|
● Zubar - mađioničar koji vam stavlja u usta dio onoga
što vam je izvukao iz džepa
● Zvijezda - osoba koja cijeli život teško radi da bi bila
poznata, a zatim nosi velike tamne naočale da ju nitko ne prepozna.
Na času fizike nastavnica je rekla
učeniku da joj kaže nešto o toploti. "Pa, toplina izdužuje stvari, a
hladnoća ih skuplja".
|
- Tako je – kaže
nastavnica. Reci nam koji primer.
Leti su dani duži, zato jer jer toplije, a zimi su kraći
zato što je hladnije.
● ● ●
Učitelj: - Ako uzmem ovaj
paradajz i podelim ga na dva dela, zatim na četiri parčeta i ta četiri
dela prepolovim, šta ću dobiti? - Paradajz salatu!
● ● ● Nastavnik fizike pita kada je predavao pretposlednju lekciju. Neko iz zadnje klupe dobaci: "Sutra".
Nastavnik se nije zbunio, već se
šeretski nasmeja i reče: "Meni se čini da sam ja predavao prekosutra"
● ● ● |
|
|
- Zakasnićeš u
školu! Jesi li skoro gotova? - Jesam, mama. - Obula si cipele? - Da. Sve sem jedne.
● ● ●
Na času matematike nastavnica predaje novo gradivo i kada
je završila uze jedan primer i upita: - Ima li ovde
članova koji mogu da se skrate? - Ima! – odgovori
dečak iz druge klupe - A koji? – upita
začuđeno nastavnica. - Pera i Joca – odgovori dečak pokazujući na dvojicu čupavaca. [#843/1968] |
|
=●=
