Nedelja, 17. VII 2011.
U ovom broju donosimo: 2.
Uleti Startovanja curama koji se NE preporučuju 3.
Ultra Boban Pesma nepoznatog leskovačkog repera Poruka od zgradonačelnika
Foto-feljton: dvojnici poznatih ličnosti.
Vi mora da ste iz� ako je većina ovih tvrdnji tačna (Nijagarini Vodopadi, Nju Hemp�ir,
Nju Ingland; 3468-3500) |
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Obave�tenje: Zbog godi�njeg odmora, naredni
broj
će izaći u ponedeljak.
1. I wish you were a
door so I could slam you all
day.
2. Nice legs...what
time do they open?
3. Do you work for
UPS? I thought I saw you
checking out my package.
4. You've got 206
bones in your body, want one
more?
5. Can I buy you a
drink or do you just want the
money?
6. I may not be the
best looking guy in here, but
I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a
bird watcher and I'm looking
for a
Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one? 8. I'm fighting the
urge to make you the happiest
woman on earth tonight. 9. Want to play army?
I'll lay down and you can
blow the hell outta me. 10. I wish you were a
Pony Carousel outside store so I could ride you all day long for a
quarter. 11. Oh, I'm sorry, I
thought that was a Braille
name tag. 12. I'd really like
to see how you look when I'm
naked. 13. Is that a ladder
in your stockings or the
stairway to heaven? 14. You might not be
the best looking girl here,
but beauty is only a light switch away. 16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy. 17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue. |
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18. If it's true that
we are what we eat, then I
could be you by morning.
19. (Look down at
your crotch) Well, it's not just
going to suck itself.
20. You know, if I
were you, I'd have sex with me.
21. You. Me. Whipped
cream. Handcuffs. Any
questions?
22. F@# me if I'm
wrong, but is your name Sherry
Titsbottom?
23. Those clothes
would look great in a crumpled
heap on my bedroom floor.
24. My name is
(name)...remember that, you'll be
screaming it later.
25. Do you believe in
love at first sight or should
I walk by again?
26. Hi, I'm Mr.
Right. Someone said you were
looking for me.
27. My friend wants
to know if you
think I'm
cute.
28. Hi. The voices in
my head told me to come over
and talk to you.
29. My name isn't
Elmo, but you can tickle me
anytime you want to.
30. I know milk does
a body good, but DAMN, how
much have you been drinking?
31. If you were the
last woman and I was the last
man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
32. Wanna come over
for some pizza and sex? No?
Why? Don't you like pizza?
33. Baby, I'm an
American Express lover...you
shouldn't go home without me.
34. Do you sleep on
your stomach? Can I???
35. Do you wash your
pants in Windex? Because I can
see myself in them.
36. I lost my puppy.
Can you help me find him? I
think he went into this cheap motel room.
37. (Lick finger and
wipe on her shirt) Let's get
you out of these wet clothes.
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39. Da odemo u moju sobu?
Slo�io bi te ko metar drva. 40. Ima� tako dobru sisu
da ti druga i ne treba. 41. Poder'o bi te ko
budala 100 eura! 42. Ba� si srce! Je l'
mogu biti infarkt da te dernem večeras? 43. Tata ti je terorist.
Ispala si prava bomba! 44. Vidi� neku �ensku u
kafiću, uzme� malo leda, ode� do nje i razbije� ga, i ka�e�: "Sad kad
smo razbili led, mogli bi razgovarati" 45. Lijepa ti je
odjeća. Bolje bi izgledala na podu moje sobe. 46. Ja se toliko lo�e
je*em da to mora� probati. 47. Kakav doručak
�eli� ujutro? |
49. Prijatelji me zovu
Djed Mraz. Hoće� li mi sjediti u krilu?
50. Mo�da nisam
najzgodniji tip u ovom disku, ali sam jedini koji razgovara sa tobom.
51. Istina da mi fali par
zuba, al' zato ima vi�e mjesta za tvoj jezik.
52. Oćemo se znojit'
zajedno?
53. Zna� �ta bi lijepo
izgledalo na tebi? Ja!
54. Ja zarađujem vi�e
no �to ti mo�e� potro�iti.
55. Je li ovdje tako
vruće ili si to ti?
Jer Ultra Boban je karate treniraja
i Ramba i Konana sve je iscepaja.
I Fle� Gordona je jednom �amarao
jer mu letećim tanjirom papriku prejebao.
On d�aci sa cementom za batulovo dizao
i na istom načinom dosta ojačao
jer on se u Vijetnam tri godine tepaja
pa gi tamo na svima kr�tenice iscepaja.
On
u Batulovo zanat je ispekija na Miću iz Stublu se kola zaglavila. Mića
se čovek upla�io i mo�da si oti�o Počeo da pljuje neke vatre i da pravi neka sranja. Ultra Boban odma' mu je pri�o da mu lupi dva �amara, da bi si oti�o. |
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Da ga
Boban ne bi napravio lom
Godzila je podvukja rep i pobegja dom.
Jer on kad zama'ne, on napravi krater.
Tako na Godzilu on jebaja bi mu mater�
� i sestru!
(od na�e čitateljke iz Leskovca; link za pesmu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SV9-qDeSL-I)
� Vi mora da ste iz Nijagarinih Vodopada ako� (CDN, ON, poglavlje LXII) | |
3468. You know
who Snook is, and have probably met someone just like him.
3472.
You don't think that those "poor souls" setting up their campers in
gravel pits are homeless. |
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3474.
"Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary and more polite
than, "Huh?"
3475. There are handicap parking places in front of the skating rinks.
3476. Banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the
counters.
3477. You use answering machines to screen calls and then have call
waiting so
you don't miss a call from someone you didn't want to talk to in the
first
place.
3478. You buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of
eight.
3479. You've visited somewhere else in
3480. You've lost something in your yard and then found it when the
snow melted
3481. A co-worker sends an email explaining that he will be late due to
the
moose in his yard
3482. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
3483. You know what Molson's Canadian "The Rant" is and actually
thought it was somewhat true.
3484. You know what a poutine is and how to make it.
3485. You season your food with beer instead of wine most of the time.
3486. You know that when it's 23�C outside, it's a very warm day.
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3487. You know its really called a bathroom not a lavatory, powder-room or restroom. 3488.
You've ever said, "I need more flannel clothing". �
Vi mora da ste iz Nju
Hemp�ira ako� (SAD, poglavlje LXIX) 3493. You can actually pronounce and spell "Winnipesauke". 3494. Motorcycle Weekend is the highlight of your summer� not! 3495. You don't think theirs any thing unusual about a liquor store in the middle of the highway 3496. Everyone around you is bundled up and you are outside in shorts and a t-shirt. |
3497. If while you're out there, you decide it is a bit cold, but you are too stubborn to admit it and go get a jacket.
�
Vi mora da ste iz Nove Engleske ako� (SAD,
poglavlje LXX)
(Nju Ingland je severoistočni
deo SAD i obuhvata dr�ave: Mejn,
Nju Hemp�ir,
Vermont, Masačusets,
Rod Ajland i
Konektikat)
3498.
Someone in a Home Depot store
offers you assistance and they don't work
there.
3499. If
you hit deer on a regular basis.
3500. You
know that the things you need to start a campfire are:
matches, newspaper, tinder,
sticks, fuel logs, and spent motor oil.