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EN385 - Nedelja, 31.
VII 2011.
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Pre svega, zbog godišnjeg odmora,
odlučili smo da umesto dvobroja (kako smo obično radili) da ovaj broj objavimo
sa nedelju dana zakašnjenja. Takođe smo odlučili tako i ubuduće radimo, umesto
da pravimo dvobroj. Svakako, obavestićemo naše čitaoce u prethodnom broju. Ako
ne – dobićete dvobroj.
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Pored toga, naša rubrika
"Širom neta" je malo živnula (u smislu "matičarskog
ureda", što je i osnovna delatnost našeg časopisa). U toku prethodne dve
nedelje sklopljen je jedan brak i rodile su se dve devojčice. ● 9. VII udala se Jelenčica. Redakcija čestita mladencima i želi im puno sreće u zajedničkom životu! ● 17. VII Gambit je dobio ćerkicu. Čestitamo na prinovi. |
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Kako smo samo sa jednim od
gorenavedenih stupili u kontakt zbog ove rubrike (sa ostalima nismo stigli),
objavili smo samo kratke informacije.
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Izvodi zbor Bivšeg i Sadašnjeg HDZ Tekst napisao: S. Mareković (D. Palančec) Svakog dana
mislim na tebe Crtam recke,
brojim godine Figa je u
srcima A lova nestala Ima tu i više
istina... (J. Kosor) Svaka šuša laže
za tebe Pos'o cveta,
lova putuje (I. Šuker) Tisuću dionica
noćas propada Cijeli DORH je
sada za nama |
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(refren – cijeli HDZ) Moja Hobotnica Moja Hobotnica Ima snagu
moćnog Ive (solo Milinović) Afere rastu k'o
gljive (solo Hebrang) Moja zemlja
Hrvtaska (I. Sanader) Vratit ću se
moram doći Tu je moj dom Moje guske,
moje selo (L. Bebić) Ivo nam se
budi, kao vjetar
osvaja On je tu Sa nama SA NAMAAAAAAA (PONOVITI REFREN) (preuzeto sa www.niktitanik.com)
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This is an actual job application a 17-year-old
boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida… And they
hired him, because he was so honest and funny!
Name:
Greg
Bulmash
Sex:
Not
yet. Still waiting for the right person.
Desired position:
Reclining.
Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky,
I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
Desired salary:
$185,000
a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If
that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
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Education: Yes. Last position held: Target
for middle-management hostility. Salary: Less than I'm worth. Most notable achievement: My
incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. Reason for leaving: It
sucked. Hours available to work: Any. Preferred hours: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Do you have any special skills?: Yes,
but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. May we contact your current employer?: Have you ever been convicted of a felony?: |
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Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from
lifting up to 50 LBS?:
Of what?
Do you have a car?:
I
think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that
runs?"
Have you received any special awards or recognition?:
I
may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
Do you smoke?:
Only
when set on fire.
What would you like to be doing in five years?:
Living
in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of
your knowledge?:
No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
Sign here:
Scorpio
with Libra rising.
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Već dugo lajkujem jednu malu… Ima dugačke statuse, kratku pamet, čaroban profil i zgodnu sliku. Primetio sam da ni ona nije ravnodušna. Vrlo često mi kaže kako voli moj dugački… spisak prijatelja, ili kako mi je dobar najnoviji link… I izašli smo par puta… Na
Chat… Znate, to vam je ono mesto, desno od profil slike, prekoputa
aplikacija… Moram priznati da sam bio oduševljen… Istina, pričamo
različitim jezicima, ali ljubav ne poznaje barijere… Počeo sam da učim… U
početku su mi teško išli nepravilni glagoli BTW, WTF, OMG… ali zato
briljiram sa LOL, BWE i XEXE… Vremenom je i ona mene počela da lajkuje…
Jednom smo čak izašli i na MSN… Tamo je mirno i tiho i mogli smo pričati
bez bojazni da nam neko gleda profile! Lepo nam je… Izlazimo svako veče,
družimo se, razmenjujemo slike i linkove… Iskren da budem, razmišljam o
svadbi… Zakupiću ceo Chat, svi ćete biti pozvani! Sviraće nam najbolji
muzičari sa YouTube-a, a na meniju će biti samo specijaliteti i pikanterije:
najsvežiji proizvodi sa Farmvilla i Fishvilla! Notifikaciju svog istorijskog
"DA" ostaviću na statusu, neka
svi vide da sam našao sreću u životu! I ona je obećala isto! Kupićemo divan
stan u YouVillu, a ja ću dobiti dobar posao u Mafia Wars-u, pa |
ćemo imati od
čega da živimo! Naši prijatelji dolaziće nam u goste redovno, a za njih ćemo
otvoriti posebnu grupu, da imaju gde da se smeste. Mrzećemo sve koji nas
hejtaju, a lajkovati sve koji nas vole… Zajedno! Obećavam da ću joj biti
veran, da neću lajkovati sličice drugih i da neću sa drugima izlaziti na
Chat… Decu ćemo praviti u Photoshop-u i živeti srećno sve dok traje
Facebook… ili dok nam ne ukinu profile!!!
¤ Vi mora da ste iz Nove Engleske ako… (USA, poglavlje LXX)
3501. You find a
snowmobile as a reasonable means of transportation for 4 months out of the
year.
3502. You consider 65°F (18°C) ocean water "warm".
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3503. Your car
is parked outside because your snowmobiles get parked in the garage. 3512. You know
what a bubbler is and you drink soda and pop someone in the face. 3514. The speed limit on the highway is 55mi/h - you're going 80, and everybody
is passing you. |
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3516. You think 3 straight days of 90°F (32°C) weather is a heatwave.
3517. Your first motorized vehicle with four wheels was an ATV.
3518. You have
ever put studded tires on your street racer.
3519. "Sox" vs. "Yankees" games are a life and death
matter.
3520. There is a town green in the middle of your town.
3521. You refuse anything but real maple syrup.
3522. You regularly drive on roads that are as narrow and windy as a deer
trail.
3523. You have ever missed school due to "Mud".
3524. You can choose exactly where your Senator sits on a political party map…
Democrats on the Left, Republicans on the right… and that one little white dot in
the middle is where our Senator sits.
3525. You ever have been asked in a school hallway if you have Duct Tape on
you.
3526. You get pissed off when people assume New York is part of New England.
3527. You've skipped a day of school to go to the Big E, or… You've taken a
field trip to the Big E
3528. A yellow light means "You can make it if you go a little
faster"
3529. A red light/stop sign means stop… but only if you want to
3530. The first day after winter that's it sunny outside, you roll down all the
windows of your car and pretend its summer, and even though its still 30°F
(-1°C), you refuse to roll up your windows.
¤ Vi mora da ste iz Njujorka ako… (SAD, poglavlje LXXI)
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3531. You say "the
city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan. 3538.
The most frequently used part of your car is the horn. |
3542.You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.
3543. You're paying $1.200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you
think it's a "steal".
3544. You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.
3545. You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the US pay
in rent.
3546. You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went
away to camp as a kid.
"Klub 27" je
pojava da su neki poznati rok i bluz muzičari umrli u 27-oj godini. Iako ova
slika, zbog Bibera, debelo zadire u crni humor, ipak je objavljujemo kao omaž
Ejmi Vajnhaus. Više o "Klubu 27": http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/27_Club
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