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Nedelja, 4. IX 2011.

U ovom broju donosimo: 2. Fejs-bruk! Smejurije sa Fejsbuka 4. Špigl - dvojnici poznatih Foto-feljton: dvojnici poznatih ličnosti. 6. Ove nedelje u bioskopu "Ode on" Film: "Voćni rendžeri" 6. Semenkar Predsedniku kućnog saveta 7. Anketa u Melburnu Dečje odvale (mnogo slatko) 7. Locirajte se! Vi mora da ste iz… ako je većina ovih tvrdnji tačna (Nju Orleans, Nju Džersi; 3681-3711)

Sačuvajte ovaj broj! Možete od njega da napravite: - molersku kapu - brodić - avion koji leti… Urednicima ostalih časopisa: Budite fer i ostavite link za ovaj časopis kad već uzimate materijal odavde!

(Redakcija se zahvaljuje Branki i Jovani na slici)

FEJS-BRUK!

ošto se svakog dana gomilaju raznorazne odvale sa društvene mreže "Facebook", na sajtu http://failbook.com/ su počele da se pojavljuju slike sa istim. Predstavljamo vam najbolje odvale, a njih ima jako puno pa je lakše da ih postavimo u tekstualnom obliku. Imena i slike profila su tamo zamaskirane, pa ćemo učesnike u komentarima predstavljati brojevima: (1), (2), (3) itd. 

Status: Goodbye America! Hello New York!

(2): New York is in America...

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status: If you could see my heart, what would you do?

(2): Take you to the hospital... :-/

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Na grupi "Estrada iz doba Jure" je postavljena slika albuma pevača Nehrua (narodnjak – slika desno) (1): Po ovom batici je ulica na Novom Beogradu dobila ime. (2): Se*eš? Nisam znala za to. Kakav užas! [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Don't be racist. Be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English and looks like a Mexican. (2): And runs like a Jamaican. (3): And jumps like a black man. (4): And grabs coins like a Jew. [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Na slici se nalazi grafikon "pita" koji na pitanje "People who think I'm attractive" daje odgovor: "My mother" (100%) (2): And that's not true and you know it... (1): Thanx, mom [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: If plan A fails, you have 25 letters left (2): If plan B fails, you have a baby

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status: (1) is in Romania

(2): What's that?

(1): A country

(2): It is?

(1): Yeahh

(2): Are you sure? Cause I am pretty sure it's a store.

(1): It's a country located in Southeastern and Central Europe, North of the Balkan peninsula, on the Lower Danube, within and outside Carpatian arch, bordering on the Black se. Almost all of the Danube Delta is located within it's territory. Romania shares a border with Hungary and Serbia to the west, Ukraine and the Republic of Moldova to the northeast, and Bulgaria to the south.

(2): I have never heard of half of those states. The United States are so big.

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status: Want to win a iPad 2? Just scratch here ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ with a key or a coin to see if you're a winner!

(2): I scratched up my phone, you jerk!

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status: I'm so stupid!

(2): You waiting for people to disagree with you?

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status: I love the beach... Except for the water and sand but I love the rest :)

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status: "And everything I touch, just turns to dust..."

(2): Be careful going to the bathroom then.

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Chat:

(1) (devojka): E cao odakle si

(2) (tip): Nis. Ti?

(1): Nista pijem kafu

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Nothing can drag you down unless you're holding onto it. Cheers to being optimistic! (2): Unless you're chained to a cement block, sinking in a river. (3): Gravity... [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: OMG this actualy works!!! 1. Hold your breath for 10 minutes. 2. Die  (8 lajkova – verovatno su probali...) [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Chat: (1): Hey, you know what sucks? (2): Vacuums (1): You know what sucks in metaphorical sence?

ŠPIGL – DVOJNICI POZNATIH Dilma Rusef (predsednica Brazila) → Evok

(2): Black holes

(1): You know what just isn't cool?

(2): Lava

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status: Dear Waldo,

could I interest you in becoming a horcrux?

Sincerely,

Lord Valdemort.

(5 minutes later, no responce from Waldo, Voldemort moves on...)

Dear Carmen Sandego,

could I interest you in becoming a horcrux?

Sincerely,

Lord Valdemort.

(yet another 5 minutes with no responce from either)

Dear Chuck Norris,

could I interest you in becoming a horcrux?

Sincerely,

Lord Valdemort.

(1 minute later, Chuck Norris arrives)

Chuck Norris made Lord Valdemort his horcrux!

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Roses are red violets are blue. Some poems rhyme This one doesn't (2): Haikus are beautiful But sometimes don't make sence. Refrigerator. (1): Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense banana monkey glue (2): Roses are grey Violets are grey And I'm a dog [ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status: Today I sent out a text saying: "Hey, I lost my phone. Will you call it?"... 12 people calle me... I need smarter friends.

(2): Did you ever find it?

(3): You need a life.

(4): I would comment on this, but I lost my "Facebook"

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status:

|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^| |^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^||

| ♥ PLEASE STOP ANIMAL CRUELTY ♥ ..…||""";..,___.

|……_________====| |________________| _ ||__|…, ] | |

"(@)'(@)"""""""""*|'(@)|'(@)|"""""""""""""""""(@)'(@)"""""(@)

Keep this convoy going! We can make a difference! Lots of love!

(2): Seems odd that a truck would be used for this message. lol

(1): I thought so too at first, but I think it is because it is talking about the message being a convoy, which needs a truck. Regardless, someone spent lots of time on it!

(2):

|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^| |^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^||

| ……..* KITTENS ARE FIFTY POINTS *   .…||""";..,___.

|……_________====| |________________| _ ||__|…, ] | |

"(@)'(@)"""""""""*|'(@)|'(@)|"""""""""""""""""(@)'(@)"""""(@)

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status: New idea for a TV show: "Bro's clues". All it would be is a guy with a green striped polo shirt looking around for stuff he lost while he was super drunk the night before.

(2): Episode #1: "Who drank all the beer?"

(2): Episode #2: "Where's that bitch's number?"

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status: EW Privacy issue with Facebook. As of tomorrow, Facebook will creep into your bathroom when you're in the shower, smack your bottom, and then steal your clothes and towel. To change this option, go to:

Privacy settings > Personal settings > Bathroom settings > Smacking and stealing settings, and uncheck the "Shenanigans" box.

Facebook kept this one quiet.

Copy and Paste on your status to alert the unaware.

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status: Irene: Such a bad week to have my name! LOL!

Robert: Yeah. After this weekend I can say I have been blown by two Irenes.

Irene: Shut up, Rob! Jeez, that was in highschool! Robert: People don't forget natural disasters. :D [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: What have I done... :-/ [2]: Made a Facebook status [1]: Honestly... shut up! [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: I don't like you. Please, die in a fire. [2]: That's not nice [1]: I said "please" [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Just beacues im dumb... dont mean im stupied. [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Chat: - Oh, hey gal! - Oh, hey pal! - Way to rhyme... - I do it all the time... - Good one - It was fun. - Orange - F**k you!

OVE NEDELjE U BIOSKOPU "ODE ON" Film: "Voćni rendžeri" [s leva na desno: Britni Spirs, Keti Peri (sudove), Rihana, Niki Minaj, Ledi Gaga]

SEMENKAR

moljava se predsednik Kućnog Saveta od milošte zvani "Semenkar" da u interesu stanara zgrade u ulici  Zaplanjska **, a radi smanjene potrošnje električne energije zajedničkog svetla, svoje rashladne uređaje  (zamrzivač, frižider i dr.) premesti iz podrumskih prostorija u svoj stan i tako konačno, posle više godina, počne plaćanje naknade za utrošenu električnu energiju istih. Ako su do sada stanari zgrade plaćali te njegove troškove za zajedničko svetlo mislimo da bi osnovni red bio da malo i on počne da plaća svoje troškove. Ovoga puta umoljavamo jer što je mnogo – mnogo je. Računamo: dosta smo ti pomagali.

U našem je interesu da ti i pomognemo u iznalaženju rešenja za plaćanje tih troškova zato ti predlažemo sledeće:

- s obzirom da se baviš preprodajom - švercovanjem cigareta, auto guma i drugim lopovlucima, mogao bi da jedan mali deo te "zarade" upotrebiš za plaćanje naknade za utrošenu električnu energiju nastalu radom tvojih rashladnih uređaja. Znamo da je tebi to teško, ali budi malo čovek pa priznaj da ti to ne bi bilo mnogo (jedan boks cigareta ili jedna guma za manje auto*). Ukoliko ne prihvataš naš predlog, molimo te da nađeš neki drugi način i nas oslobodiš od plaćanja tvojih obaveza.

Iluzorno je apelovati na tvoju savest jer osećanje iste, kao i drugih ljudskih osećanja ti nemaš, pa zato nismo sigurni da će ova naša molba biti uslišena, ali vredi pokušati.

Neki mudrac je davno rekao: "Lako je biti đubre, teško je biti čovek" pa uz molbu da nas oslobodiš plaćanja tvojih obaveza molimo te da prestaneš da budeš đubre – još nije kasno.

Kućni savet

Ul. Zaplanjska **

LOCIRAJTE SE

¤ Vi mora da ste iz Nju Orleansa ako… (USA, SD LA, poglavlje LXXII)
3681. You're out of town and you stop and ask someone where there's a drive-thru daiquiri place (then they look at you like you have three heads).
3682. You go to sleep Friday evening before you go out Friday night.
3683. Neither rain, nor sleet, nor hail will keep you from the Jazz Fest.
3684. You listen to holiday songs such as "the 12 yats of Christmas" and "Santa and his reindeer used to live right here".
3685. You take a bite of five-alarm chili and reach for the Tabasco
3686. You refer to Louisiana winters as "Gumbo Weather".
3687. When a hurricane is imminent, you have a lot more faith in Nash Roberts than some Super Doppler 6000.
3688. Your middle name is your mother's maiden name, or your father's mother's maiden name, or your mother's mother's maiden name, or your grandmother's mother's maiden name, or your grandfather's mother's maiden name.
3689. You know the Rosenberg's jingle exactly the way the little girl sings it.
3690. You know it's "ask" but you purposely say "ax".

¤ Vi mora da ste iz Nju Džersija ako… (SAD, poglavlje LXXIV)

3691. You know what a "jug handle" is. 3692. You don't think of fruit when people mention "The Oranges". 3693. You know that it's called Great Adventure, not Six Flags. 3694. A good, quick breakfast is a hard roll with butter. 3695. You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven. 3696. You do not say "New Joisey"… In fact, you know that no one from Jersey does… Or anyone for that matter 3697. You've eaten at a "Diner", when you were stoned or drunk, at 3am 3698. You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery, and neither all farmland. 3699. At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen and you know the town Jon Bon Jovi is from. 3700. You know that you can't make a left anywhere and that the jughandle is a way of life

3701. You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny.
3702. You know that "WaWa" is a convenience store.
3703. You know that there are no "beaches" in New Jersey – there's the shore and you don't go to the shore, you go "down the Shore". And when you are there, you're not "at the shore", you are "down the Shore".
3704. You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
3705. You knew that the last sentence had to do with driving.
3706. You know that this is the only "New __" state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try…Mexico,…York, .Hampshire - doesn't work, does it?)
3707. You know that a "White Castle" is the name of both a fast food chain and a fast food sandwich.
3708. You consider putting mayo on a corned beef sandwich a sacrilege.
3709. You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood.
3710. You know that people from the 609 area code are "a little different". Yes they are!
3711. You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton. That's for out-of-staters.

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