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Nedelja, 1. VI 2012.
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U ovom broju donosimo: 2.
Fejs-bruk!
Smejurije
sa Fejsbuka
Foto-feljton: dvojnici poznatih ličnosti.
Vi mora da ste iz… ako je većina ovih tvrdnji tačna (Tenesi; 5011-5040) |
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FEJS-BRUK!
Pošto
se svakog dana gomilaju svakakve odvale na "Facebook-u", na sajtu http://failbook.com/
su počele da se
pojavljuju slike sa istim. Predstavljamo vam najbolje
odvale, a njih ima jako puno pa je lakše da ih postavimo u
tekstualnom obliku.
Imena i slike profila su tamo zamaskirane, pa ćemo učesnike u
komentarima predstavljati brojevima: [1], [2], [3]
itd. Napomene će biti crvenom bojom.
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Chat (tip devojci):
[2]: Nado, a da ugasimo fejs i da se
mazimo?
(...) Ne, a? (...) Bole te k*rac
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Status: ShE WaS My EveRyThINg. ToRn ApArT. 1nCe aGiN...
[2]:
SoN, PlEaSe LeArN hOw 2 TyPe... Also, stop being
a pussy and come help me clean the garage.
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[ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: When you feel hated by that one
person who means everything to you. :'( [2]: I know how you feel. My cat's
been
ignoring me quite a lot recently.
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[ f ] Status: Why am I golfing alone? [2]: Because nobody loves you. Or
golf.
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[ f ] Status: The "Titanic" sank because it was
filled beyond capacity with
time travelers trying to find out why it sank. [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Got my prom dress. :-)) This is what it looks like! ♥ => C:\Documents and Settings\Dan\My Documents\My Pictures\2x18x12\2x18x12 023aa.jpg [2]: Fail? [1]: Not really? You have to copy it and paste it where you would type in a website. |  |
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Status: Neznam šta sam propustijo pa te
nisam vidjo dosad,...
[2]: Ništa... Srpski jezik i kulturu izražavanja za 3. razred osnovne...
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Status: (devojka je
postavila sliku sa natpisom: "Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty
daughters kill people)
[2]: Your dad won't have to kill no one. lol
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Status: The average person tells 4 lies a
day or 1460 a year. A total of 87.600 by
the age of 60. And the most common lie is: "I'm fine"
[2]:
Actually, I'm pretty sure the most
common lie is "I agree to the above terms and conditions"
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 | Status: I donated blood today. What did
you do to better humanity today? [2]:
Reduced the amount of alcohol in the world.
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[ f ] Status: Why does Samuel L. Jackson always
play a black guy? [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Is there internet in Ghana? [2]:
No, we have to ride our goats all the
way to Europe and then beg people to let us use their internet.
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[ f ] Status: The first word I want to teach my
kid is "brains". Then, until
he/she learns another word, I'll have the cutest little zombie ever! [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Warm spring and summer nights are
made to be spent outside. |
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Status: So, I googled "fun things to do
over the summer for teenagers"
and one of the hits was "Get a job"...
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Chat:
-
Back off my
girl, punk!
-
Uh, who are
you?
-
Katie's
boyfriend. Just noticed you like her updates.
-
LOL! Are you
f*cking serious? "I liked her updates"… Grow up, little boy.
Bye-bye!
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Status: Lajk ako me smatraš prijateljicom,
ako ne - ignoriraj ovaj status!
[2]:
Da bar postoji dislike opcija
[1]:
Kakve slike?
(dislike)
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Status: So, I took off her shirt. She
said: "Good. Now take off my
skirt". So I took off her skirt. Then she said: "Take off my shoes,
bra and underwear". So I did. Then she said: "Good. Now, don't let me
catch you ever wearing my clothes again!"
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Status: So, today I was telling a coworker
about the book/movie "The
Road" and I mentioned that it was a post-apocalyptic story. And she
goes:
"So, is it a true story?"
[2]:
So, was it?
[1]:
Oh, yeah. You remember that apocalypse
we had a while back, right?
[2]:
Yea. That was awesome.
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Chat:
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Jbg, kad ne
vidim. Sori, sori, soriiiiii... Primaš izvinjenje? ;)
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Ako ti primiš
nešto drugo ;)
-
Kao na primer štaaaa?
-
Naguzi se.
Shvatićeš. :)
Postoji jedno nepisano pravilo, a to je da su najveći lažljivci:
a) oni
koji tvrde da uvek govore istinu
b) oni
koji tvrde da imaju veliki penis
Prijatno
ateriranje.
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Status: Sine, nisi pojeo supu i ostavio si
parče hleba. Odma' se vrati
kući i da završiš ovo!
[2]:
Aaaaa! o.O Baba, brišem te iz
prijatelja!
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Status: You is kind! You is smart! You is
important!!!
[2]:
You is illiterate!
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Status: I want a tank!
[2]:
Well then, why don't you get one?
[1]:
Because they cost several million
dollars. I don't have that kind of money.
[2]:
Now, wait a second! You have credit
cards, right?
[1]:
Yes, but how am I going to pay the
credit card company? They'll come after me.
[2]:
Don't be silly! You have a tank!
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Chat:
[1]:
Hakovan je profil mom dečku. Šta da
radim?
[2]:
Uzmi fotoaparat. Pozovi dečka. I
možete da se slikate.
 | [1]:
Baš ti hvala!
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[ f ] Tweet: Jelena Karleuša: Srbija ima
pamćenje akvarijumske ribice. (@karleusastar) Pokojna Mileva: Zato ti i opstaješ. (@PokojnaMileva) iPhone: -
Hey, babe... -
Yeah? -
I gotta tell
you something -
It's 3:38 AM... -
Take it
seriously... -
What...? -
I am the
Batman... -
You're drunk,
aren't you? - Yeah... [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] |
Status: Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
Never drink and derive!
[2]:
You spelled "drive" wrong,
dork!
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Chat:
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Eeeeeee... Šta
ima?
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Ne mogu da ti
odgovorim. Ne radi mi tastatura, pa kad popravim... Može?
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Aha, ok... XD
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iPhone chat - prvi deo:
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Hi! Do you have
a boyfriend?
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Yes... Who are
you?
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It's your
dad... Be home this weekend, and we'll talk!
iPhone chat - drugi deo:
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Hi... Do you
have a boyfriend?
-
Not a chance.
Who are you, anyway?
-
It's your
boyfriend. Sucks to know that you're not proud to be with me... :(
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Sorry, babe. I
thought you're my dad... He texted me a while back asking the same
question.
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Yes, it's me.
Your dad... We'll have a long talk this weekend!
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iPhone chat:
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Dude, why is
there a crack on my phone?
-
Last night
while you were drinking you threw your phone.
-
Now, why would
I do that?
-
You put in
"airplane mode" and threw it. You kept yelling: "Transform, damn
you!"
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Status: This is too awesome not to share.
Happened to me yesterday. As some of you
know, my text notification on my Droid has been the light saber sound.
That
came in to play pretty hilariously yesterday. I went to the bathroom at
the
public restroom next to our store. Only has two urinals, and one was
already
occupied. So I walked up to the one next to it, and right as I undo the
buttons
on my slacks, I got a text message and the light saber sound goes off.
I had to
pause for a second as the guy next to me was looking at me with a very
quizzical look on his face, somehow I was able to look at him, very
calmy and
seriously and say: "Happens every time..."
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Komentari na sliku četiri devojke,
od kojih
je jedna izrazito debela:
Naslov slike: Hey, guys! Name my band!
Komentari:
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Walrus and
Friends -
Jupiter and the
Moons -
We forgot the
harpoons -
We survived the
abortion -
Our parrents
hate us -
I eat to feel
happy -
Fat -
Happy meal and
the Toys -
I don't think
you have a band. Just a fat bitch and three ugly skanks. FB profil: Religious
views:
Atheist [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] |  |
Pismo Marku Cukenbergu (sve je na
srpskom):
Alo, rođače, koja je tebe muka naterala da akaš kompjuter i da praviš "Fejsbuk"? A kakav ti je to retardirani koledž gde si ti imao vremena da praviš i održavaš sajt kao što je "Fejsbuk"? (...) Ti si napravio taj sajt za tamo tvoje neke giliptere iz kraja, da se kao čujete u vezi faksa kao, (...) i sada zbog tvog glupog sajta jedna devojka će celu subotu veče da provede gledajući u belo-plavu pozadinu, dopisivati se sa dokonim ljudima kao što si ti bio nekada, a ja ću isto to raditi jer smo trebali da izađemo da prošetamo... Ti sada verovatno gledaš tursku seriju neku i boli te lakat za sve ovo i ako pročita neko iz te tvoje kompanije ovako, na srpskom, misliće da je recept za jelo na stranom jeziku (...) ta devojka o kojoj ti pričam ima da legne da spava, jer je umorna bila u NS-u na nekom rođendanu... I mogao bih svašta još da ti kažem, ali drugom prilikom, nego ovako ko čovek da te zamolim da isključiš FB od negde 21:00 do 01:00h, da odemo da prošetamo i posle radi šta hoćeš. Ajde, ljubi te brat... pozz
LOCIRAJTE SE
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Vi mora da ste iz Tenesija ako… (SAD, poglavlje
XCV) 5012. You have more fun at the local go kart track for 5 minutes than you do at Dollywood for the whole day. 5013. Your family considers fried chicken and mashed potatoes a huge deal, and they actually look forward to it. 5014. You consider a "cool down" below 95°F (35°C). 5015. You get out of school for NASCAR events, but not for Martin Luther King Jr. day. 5016. You know that the difference between a fiddle and a violin is that the violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs". 5017. You learned the electric slide and how to square dance in your elementary school gym class. 5018. You eat turnip greens for money and black eyed peas for good luck in the new year on Jan 1st of every year. 5019. Your town has a barbecue festival. 5020. Your police force is in federal penitentiary, half of the citizens got indicted on charges of cock fightin', and most of your friends and family are still makin "good ol' shine". 5021. Your favorite shirt is orange cause you can wear it to the game on Saturday, huntin' on Sunday and to work for |
the highway department on Monday
and you
never have to change!
5022. If you're late for school because you get stuck behind a tractor
pulling
hay or tobacco… And its excused everytime.
5023. If you know that you can go 70mi/h (112km/h) on Pellissippi when the speed
limit
is really only 55mi/h (88km/h)… The only people who go 55 are from out of state.
5024. If you even know what Pellissippi is.
5025. If you have a "Fair Day" where you can go to the county fair
instead of school… And its excused.
5026. If pinto beans and corn bread are included in every
meal.
5027. If there are 20 or more people at every holiday, and they're all
immediate family.
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5028. At family reunions half the family brings Fried
Chicken,
half the family brings Biscuits and Tater Salad, and the other half
brings
Sweet Tea. 5029. You have 4 lawn mowers and you never know which one is gonna work. 5030. If grillin with charcoal is the only way… Gas grills are for Yankee idiots who cant wait. 5031. There's no need to throw the food out, give it to the dogs. 5032. You order your meat burnt, not well done. 5033. You order Greens and Grits with everything. 5034. You got your first shotgun on your seventh birthday. 5035. At family reunions one part of the family brings Fried Chicken, another part brings the Biscuits and Tater Salad, and the other part brings Sweet Tea. |
5036. You say granma and granpa, without the "d".
5037. You consider a visit to the Jack Daniel's Distillery to be a
cultural
experience (as opposed to say a museum). And, it's mandatory for every
Tennessean to go at least once in his/her lifetime.
5038.
You've
watched a baby possum eat out of the dog's food bowl, then woke up the
entire
family to show them.
5039. You live to go to the Redneck Riviera.
5040. Your pickup truck makes a monster truck look like a toy.
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