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Nedelja, 28. X
2012.
|
U ovom broju donosimo: 2. Mađioničarski
trikovi
(3/8)
Zadivite vaše prijatelje jednostavnim trikovima!
Dva praznika 2.
Fejs-bruk!
Smejurije
sa Fejsbuka Foto-feljton: dvojnici poznatih ličnosti. 7. Alan
Ford
Vi mora da ste iz… ako je
većina ovih tvrdnji tačna (Škotska; 5381-5390) Jednostavni recepti: kako napuniti paprike |
|
MAĐIONIČARSKI TRIKOVI
|
Transliteracija: Marame vezane u dugačak "rep" koje, kao pravi
mađioničar, izvlačite iz stisnute pesnice. Objašnjenje: za ovu tačku potreban je sako s rupom
na leđima kao i rupa u zidu iza vas. Iz vaše ruke "izviru" marame,
prolazeći kroz rukav, a pre toga kroz rupu na sakou i rupu u zidu.
Zaliha marama je na ulici. Izvlačenje maramica je u tom slučaju jednostavno
k'o pasulj. ("Politikin zabavnik" №
983-1970) FEJS-BRUK!
|
|
njih ima jako puno pa je lakše da
ih postavimo u tekstualnom
obliku. Imena i slike profila su tamo zamaskirane, pa ćemo učesnike u
komentarima predstavljati brojevima: [1], [2], [3]
itd. Napomene će biti crvenom bojom.
[ FB ]
Status: BRZO ODGOVARAJTE!!! Je l' se može
lemiti aluminijum? Moram da zakrpim neke
male rupice...
[2]: Naravno da može. :) Samo ne
možeš običnom
lemilicom već postoji procedura
[3]: Ne moš' lemiti aluminijum pošto
kalaj ne
vata za takav metal. Jedino da variš sa aluminijumskom elektrodom. :)
[2]: Ma nosite se! Idem da kupim gaf
traku, i
aj u kurac! xDDD :D
[ FB ]
Status: Šmrči bjelo, idi vadi vene. Možda
ti u život bolje krene.
[1]: uživotu*
[1]: u žovotu*
[1]: u živbotu*
[1]: u životu* Bože ti sacjuvaj.
[1]: sacuvaj*
[1]: sačuvajž*
[1]: sačuvaj*
 |
[ FB ] Status: If life were like "The Sims", I
could fix anything by banging on
it with a wrench. This includes easels, computers and guitars. [2]: And taking showers with clothes
on
reveals money. The same goes for toilets. [3]: But the chances of a fire
starting while
making cold foods go up. [4]: And putting your baby on the
floor to
dance for five straight hours to techno is socially acceptable.
[ FB ] Status: Before I die, I want to be shut up
with a kiss [2]: Okay. I will. |
[ FB ]
Status: Don't protect your girl with your
muscles. Use your heart instead! ♥
[2]: Your heart is
a muscle.
[ FB ]
Status: So I met this prostitute who said
she'd do anything for $20. Guess who got
their homework done.
[ FB ]
Status: It takes only a minute to get a
crush on someone, an hour to like someone,
a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. ♥
[2]: One time my mom forgot me in a
parking
lot...
[ FB ]
Status: The CIA uses "Facebook" as their
main program to track down who
and what they are looking for!
[2]: I once read a quote by Abraham
Lincoln
that said "You can't trust everything on the internet"
[3]: Hold up. Abraham Lincoln said
what???
Did the internet even exist when he was alive?
[4]: ^Wow, you are dumb^ On another note, the FBI are putting tracking devices in tires of cars so everyone better pop these tires!
[3]: That was a legitimate question.
[5]: Why don't you email Abraham Lincoln and ask him?
[6]: @Jennifer: his email is AbrahamLincoln@Whitehouse.gov
[3]: He's dead. Right?
[2]: No. Didn't you see his new movie coming out? Not to be confuse with his vampire hunter movie. That was a precursor.
house. This is
due to the antelope's powerful hind-legs and the fact that the average
house cannot jump.
[ FB ]
Chat:
Mario: Imam jednu interesantnu novost za
vas ako vas zanima.
24sata: Poštovani, pošaljite nam novost na
mail reporter(a)******.hr
Mario: Ne mogu. Preko mobitela sam. Ne
mogu na mail... Možda već imate tu
vijest pa eto ako ne znate. Znate li tko leži u bolnici?
24sata: Poštovani, možete nas nazvati na
besplatni broj za čitatelje: 0800 **
** **
Mario: Mogao bih da sam u Hrvatskoj. Ako
već imate informaciju recite, ako
nemate otići ću do grada na internet pa vam poslati na mail.
24sata: Možete li nam reći tko leži u
bolnici, pa da provjerimo s redakcijom?
Mario: Bolesnici.
[ T ]
(Pokojna Mileva odgovara Angeli
Merkel)
Pokojna Mileva: Mačko, čitamo ove tvoje uslove za
ulazak
u EU, pa Silvana pita da nećeš možda i neku muzičku želju?
(Silvana
Armenulić; 1939-1976; pevačica narodne muzike i sevdalinki)
[ FB ]
Status: I am very disappointed that the
Democrat's party platform did not mention
Zeus, Ra, Tezcatlipoca, Thor or The Force.
[ FB ]
Status: Tattoo's are like potato chips!
You cant have just one!
[2]: Tattoos are like apostrophes. Some
people use them horribly.
 |
[ FB ] Status: I hate my life. :( (12-godišnjak) [2]: Becouse I asked you to go to bed now. (njegova majka)
[ T ] Status: Bug in
iPhone5 – predictive text controlled by the soul of the Chinese worker
who
committed suicide making it. How very help me I'm in hell!
[ FB ] Chat: -
What do you do
for a living? -
I hunt and kill
aliens. -
What? Aliens
aren't real! -
Have you ever
seen one? -
Nope.
[ FB ]
[ FB ] Status: I came soooo close to having a
threesome last night. All I needed was two
girls. [ FB ] |
Status: Molio bih administratore ako ikako
mogu da na sajt stave film
"Twilight breaking dawn 2"... Dugo mi je i svima nama da čekamo
svetsku premijeru filma 14. 11. 2012. (post
objavljen
još u septembru iste godine)
[ FB ]
Status: "Nickelback" next week!!!
[2]: Ouch! What heinous crime did you commit
to have to go through that?
[ FB ]
Status: Finally! I have something in
common with Justin Bieber!!! I too would throw
up if I was at his concert. (posle
snimka Džastina
Biberčeta kako povraća na sceni)
[ FB ]
[ FB ] Status: Just hit an owl with my car. I'm
thinking that can't be good... [2]: Holy crap! [3]: Better an owl than a deer! [4]: Yikes! [5]: That sucs. Hope no damage to the car... [6]: Someone isn't getting their acceptance
letter to Hogwarts.
[ FB ] Status: Fat creepy dude kept staring at me
at the gym the entire time I was there.
That was pretty uncomfortable. |  |
[ FB ]
Status: City of Romeo and Juliet ♥
[2]: Miami? Or Mexico City?
[1]: Verona?
[2]: What are you talking about? "While
some parts of the film were shot in Miami, most of the film was shot in
Mexico
City and Veracruz. For instance, the Capulet mansion was set at
Chapultepec
Castle"
[1]: The actual story! Duh!
[2]: Romeo and Juliet actually happened???
[1]: Do you know who Shakespeare is?
[2]: Who? Wait... So, there is a whole city
devoted to the movie? Is it like a theme park?
[ FB ]
Status: Guys that try to pick up girls on
Facebook are pathetic. Girls, if you
agree, message me your number so we can talk about it.
[ FB ]
Status: Today I celebrate 8 years at
Disney. Time sure does fly!
[2]: What line are you waiting in?
[ FB ]
Felix Baumgartner:
Trying
to talk
"Red Bull" into letting Justin Bieber try to break my record, without
a parachute.
[ FB ]
Status: McDonald's should test all of
their employees mathematics. I'm not a
mathematician but I know how to count money! My total was $2,19 so I
gave the
cashier $10,19. She gave me $18 change. Thank you, Jesus! I got free
coffee
plus $8! This is what I call a Happy Monday!
[ FB ]
Status: Things the moves teach us...
-
If the aliens
destroy Big Ben and the Eiffel tower, Europe is completely destroyed.
 | - If they destroy some pyramids in Egypt, Africa is completely destroyed. -
If they destroy
some Buddhist temple, Asia is gone. -
They never
bother destroying Australia. [2]: Because it can't be done. Haven't you
seen "Mad Max"? [3]: Or Wolverine??? [4]: Or played "Risk"?
[ FB ] iPhone: -
I love U -
Really??? - Yeah. It's my favourite vowel.
[ FB ] |
[ FB ]
Chat:
-
Ok... Kako ti
kažeš, šećeru... ♥
ALAN FORD
Natpis
iznad
jednog beskućnika: "Štrajk spavanjem" [98]
Bob
je u bolnici
(u zavojima ko mumija) i Alan ga posećuje.
Alan: Zdravo Bobe! Donio sam ti kutiju
slatkiša.
Bob: Divna ideja. A kako ću ih jesti?
Na oko? [98]
Tobia Quantrill: Muči me bolest zbog koje moram
jesti malo,
ali često. Ono "malo" mi uspjeva, ali ono "često"
mnogo teže... [99]
Smećar 1: Gle, netko je bacio tog starca
kroz prozor dok
smo mi odvozili smeće.
Smećar 2: Baš me briga. Što god je bilo u
kamionu odlazi u
vatru.
Broj Jedan: U vatri je izgorio tvoj pileći
mozak,
glupane!
Smećar 2: Oprostite, mister, ali
zapovjedili su mi da
iznesem svu nečistoću i spalim je u vatri koju općina
plaća.
Broj Jedan: Tako? A kako ti nisi završio u
plamenu? [99]
LOCIRAJTE
SE
¤
Vi mora da ste iz Škotske ako… (UK/SCO, poglavlje
CIII)
| 5381. You love the
Glasgow
"Clockwork Orange" Underground even though it is now like a child's
hornby train set compared to other city metro systems. 5382. You have been accused of being from 5383. You would rather stand up on the bus for an hour than bother the person whose handbag is currently occupying the last available seat. 5384.You happily engage in a conversation about the weather. "Dreich day eh? Aye at least the wind has died down". 5385.You secretly curse the day the First Scotrail ticket barriers came into operation as you can no longer skive a train journey! You are forever delayed by "ditherers" who walk to the barrier and then fumble in their bag for the ticket! |  |
5386. You can recall only a handful of films set in
5387. You actually do care if your mobile phone meets the current
fashion
standard.
5388. People ask you if the Loch Ness Monster exists or haggis is an
animal and
you try to spread the myth further by stating it's true. Also you can
keep a
straight face when explaining about a haggis having its left legs
shorter than
its right and you can catch them by making them run the wrong way round
a hill!
5389.You feel like a failure if you haven't got a full drivers licence
before you're 22.
5390. You take a perverse level of pride by the fact that
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