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Nedelja, 19. V 7532.
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U ovom broju donosimo:
Provereno efikasna naprava 2.
Naše 3
Kritika ovogodišnjeg nastupa srpskih predstavnica 3. Kodovi (2/2)
Tajne naredbe koje koriste asistenti na fakultetima 4. Tagulator Fore sa njuzgrupa
Vi mora da ste iz… ako je
većina ovih tvrdnji tačna [bivša Jugoslavija (pleonazam, zar ne?); 5809-5863] 7. Ove nedelje u bioskopu
"Ode on" |
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NAŠE 3
o je pomešao babinu komovicu za ispiranje čireva i poslao na Euroviziju one, one,
one... Pa, ja ne
znam!
Rušku Jakić, Leu Kiš i
Isidoru Bjelicu bolje da su poslali
na MISS Univerzuma!!!
Stajling
i kostimografija... Pa, ne znam... Ja podržavam te radionice mentalno
zaostale
dece, podržavam i zapošljavanje mentalno obolelih ljudi u krojačkim
radnjama, ali nemojte davati LSD tim osobama dok kreiraju i šiju za
scenske
nastupe!
Koreografija...
Đani i ja bi bolje otplesali to s našim nogicama, posle 7 litara domaće
loze, ponaosob.
Melodija
je pevljiva... U određenom trenutku tuširanja ili suzbijanju tegoba
stomačnog
zatvora na WC šolji. Da se razumemo, nemam ja ništa protiv te 3 kobile
koje zvuče
kao jeleni u teranju... ništa efikasno...
Marija(n)
Šerifović je imala odličnu pesmu po mom mišljenju! Zeljko Joksimović
takođe (oba puta)! Onaj Milan Stanković i pesma "Balkan"...
To je trebalo zadaviti usijanim gajtanom od monofazne struje! A tek
onaj debeli
gmaz gmižući, Marko Kon i Milan Nikolić sa pesmom
"Cipela"... Pa išli bi kući sa sve cipelarnikom u bulji!!!
Jedina
pohvala za ovogodišnju pesmu, jeste što je primećen veliki pomor
gmižućih
insekata, i migracija glodara iz zemlje, s obzirom da se pesma mogla
čuti
sa svakog drugog TV prijemnika...
Mrki
Piercer
KODOVI (2/2)
 |
Pošto mnogim čitaocima ovaj
članak nije bio
jasan sada ćemo vam malo pojasniti o čemu se radi: na
"kompjuteraškim" fakultetima, asistenti nadgledaju projekte
(eksperimente i domaće zadatke) koje obavljaju studenti. Naravno, kada
se
nešto pobrlja zbog preopterećenosti (recimo, ceo sprat muške spavaonice
skida
porniće) onda su obično asistenti krivi – ni krivi ni dužni! Zbog
toga je nastao ovaj tekst o tajnim kompjuterskim naredbama i njihovim
značenjima. |
Skraćenica
Objašnjenje
ABC
AlphaBetize
Code
ACDP
Allow
Controller to die peacefully
ACQT
Advance
Clock to Quitting Time
AFH
Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary
AIB
Attack
Innocent Bystander
AMS
Add
Memory to System
ANFSCD
And
Now For Something Completely Different
AOI
Annoy
Operator Immediate
AR
Alter
Reality
ARZ
Add
and Reset to Zero
AWTT
Assemble
with Tinker Toys
BA
Branch
Anywhere
BAH
Branch
and Hang
BAW
Bells
and Whistles
BBW
Branch
Both Ways
BCF
Branch
and Catch Fire
BF
Belch
Fire
BLM
Branch,
Like, Maybe
BLP
Boot
from Line Printer
BPP
Branch
& Pull Plug
CAIL
Crash
After I Leave
BFM
Be
Fruitful and Multiply
BLR
Branch
and Lose Return
BOHP
Bribe
operator for higher priority
BST
Backspace
and Stretch Tape
BWABL
Bells,
Whistles, and Blinking Lights
CBBR
Crash
& Blow Boot ROM
CCC
Crash
if Carry Clear
CCD
Clear Core and Dump
COLB
Crash
for Operator's Lunch Break
CPB
Create Program Bug
CRB
Crash
and Burn
DBR
Debase
Register
EDR
Execute
Destructive Read
EFE
Emulate
Fatal Error
EOI
Explode
On Interrupt
EPITS
Execute
Previous Instruction Then Skip
HACF
Halt
And Catch Fire
HELP
Type
"No Help Available"
HUAL
Halt
Until After Lunch
IEOF
Ignore
End Of File
IMV
IMpress
Visitors
JCI
Jump
to Current Instruction
JFM
Jump
on Full Moon
JRCF
Jump
Relative and Catch Fire
JRSR
Jump
to Random Subroutine
KEPITU
Kill
Every Process In The Universe
KSR
Keyboard
Shift Right
LCC
Load
and Clear Core
MAN
Make
Animal Noises
MBTD
Mount
Beatles on Tape Drive
MO
Mount
Operator
MLB
Memory
Left shift and Branch
NPC
Normalize
Program Counter
PAUD
PAUse
Dramatically
PFML
Print
Four Million Lines
PPSW
Pack
Program Status Word
UAI
Use
Alternate Instruction set
WPET Write Past End of Tape
 |
Sperry
(Unisys) 1100/90 kodovi: Skraćenica
Objašnjenje AGB
Add
GarBage BBL
Branch
on Burned out Light BAH
Branch
And Hang BLI
Branch
and Loop Infinite BPB
Branch
on Program Bug BPO
Branch
if Power Off CPB
Create
Program Bug CRN
Convert
to Roman Numerals DAO Divide And Overflow ERS
Erase
Read-only Storage |
IAD
Illigical
And
IOR
Illogical
Or
PAS
Print
And Smear
RBT
Read
and Break Tape
RPM
Read
Programmer's Mind
RSD
Read
and Scramble Data
XIO
Execute
Invalid Opcode
Stvarno
bolesni kodovi (Talisman/North-Keys):
Skraćenica
Objašnjenje
BAD
Branch
And Detonate
BAS
Branch
And Shit
BCA
Branch
to Current Address
BFM
Branch
on Full Moon
BIH
Branch
If Hung
BOD
Branch
On Decadence
BWR
Branch
When Ready
DC
Degauss
Core
DKR
Destructive
Keyboard Read
DMS
Dump
Manual To Shredder
DPB
Delete
Program Bug
DPC Decrement Program Counter (usually followed by BIH)
DUSR
Delete User
5809.
When you make jokes based on
your own tragedy
5810.
At your wedding you know only
about a third of the people there.
5811. At your wedding you have a minimum of 350 guests.
5812. At your wedding the first song is always "Danas majka ženi svoga
sina".
5813. Your father calls you a "dummy" for not knowing how to do
something he can't either.
5814. There is more alcohol in your liquor cabinet than at the local
bar.
5815. Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.
5816. Your dad starts to swear obsessively whenever he watches CNN.
5817. There's at least one relative that your family refuses to talk
to.
5827. Your dad complains that his back hurts!
5828. When you have to reasson your mother that her cooking is the best
5829. Whenever you went by grandma's house, she offered you soup,
sarma, grilled
meat or cookies and got mad if you didn't eat everything.
5830. When you are told that you'll grow a tail if you drink coffee at
a young
age
5831. You are freaked out by "Babaroga" (Boogie man)
5832. When your mom has a whole pharmacy in the medicine cabinet.
5833. You think the expression "Don't laugh so much, you will cry"
sounds reasonable
5834. When your mom tells you not to drink cold water after you have
exercised
5835. When no matter what age you are or how much smarter than your
parents you
are, they will never listen to what you say "cause you're still their
little baby"
5836. Your Dad tells you "when I was your age…"
5837. When your parents call relatives in Yugoslavia they shout to be heard
5838. When on your birthday everyone pulls your ears
5839. When your parents call you "son" no matter if your a boy or a
girl.
5840. Your mom gloats about how good Serbian food is but cooks Turkish
coffee
for all her friends
5841. When you work part time and drive a BMW
5842. When you bang the table and break glasses while singing when
you're
drunk.
5843. Your dad tells you "this is the third time I am telling you this"
and you are afraid to laugh
5844. Ćevapčići on the grill are better than steak any day
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5845. Your mother is fond of saying "Thanks God" 5846. A week after slava (family patron saint), Božić (Cristmass), and Uskrs (Easter) you are still eating sarma 5847. You can dance a kolo to anything, including ex-Yu rock 5848. You read this list to your mama and tata and all they have to say in their defense is "It's not true!!!" 5849. If you sit too close to the TV, you'll get cancer. 5850. You tell your friends to rebel when their parents tell them to be home before midnight 5851. When you're mom is running after you to put on a sweter 5852. Your grandma swears more than you do 5853. You bring gifts when you come and take gifts when you leave 5854. You have a doily covering your DVD, VCR, printer, scanner |
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5855.
When you do not announce yourself before visiting a friend and are
happy to see him/her at your door in the same manner
5856. When your dad thinks everyone from China has a black belt
5857. Your dad never told you about the birds and the bees (and never had to)
5858. A Serb girl tries to look 23 but she's actually 15.
5859. Even the fat Serb chicks put on the tightest skirt possible
5860. You drive a nicer car than your parents
5861. There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine and for cabbage in your garage
5862. You can hear your dad snoring from across the street
5863. You live with your mom and dad until you are married
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