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Nedelja, 31. VIII 2014.

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2. How to ruin your band name

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4. Špigl - dvojnici poznatih

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7. Hronika YHV-a

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HOW TO RUIN YOUR BAND NAME

Slovo Y ou know that phrase your mom taught you, "Don't judge a book by its cover"? Well, covers are a great
way to judge books. If you look at a book with Ann Coulter on the cover, for example, you know right up
front that you're better off jacking off with sriracha as lube than wasting one second reading even a single word of her deliberately abhorrent horseshit about how liberals eat babies. Same goes for band names. If a band can't come up with a good name for themselves, it's a pretty good indicator that they can't make music worth a damn either. Here are a few classic ways in which people ruin their band names:

Band names that start with "I/we":

Worst offenders:

- We butter the bread with butter;

- I am the avalanche;

- We are the in crowd;

- I set my friends on fire;

- We were promised jetpacks;

- I killed the prom queen;

- We came as Romans

● Hey, asshole. No one asked for your life story. We just need something we can stick on a flyer. You might as well name your band "We are unfamiliar with the concept of editing" or "I should not have been left in charge of naming the band".

Band names that are an entire sentence:

Worst Offenders:

- The world is a beautiful place and I am no longer afraid to die;

- ...And you will know us by the trail of dead;

- This bike is a pipe bomb;

- Cute is what we aim for;

- The number twelve looks like you;

- Someone still loves you, Boris Yeltsin

● If the acronym for your band name is longer than most band names, you should really consider letting someone else name your band for you - perhaps a three-year-old. Band names should be no more than three words. Four, max.

Band names that tell people what to do:

Worst Offenders:

- Skip the foreplay;

- Bring me the horizon;

- Escape the fate;

- Sing it loud;

- Say Hi to your mom;

- Imagine dragons;

- Get involved!

● I'm not about to take orders from a band name.

Band names with punctuation:

Worst Offenders:

- Panic! at the disco;

- Godspeed you! Black Emperor;

- Does it offend you, yeah?;

- The academy is…;

- You say party! we say die!;

● Wow! What a cool way to make your band pop... Add an exclamation mark! Or maybe, a question mark? Would that make it cool too? And! Just stick it in! Anywhere? Doesn't have to make sense! Or… some ellipses!

Band names with unfortunate acronyms:

Worst Offenders:

- Jimmy Eat World;

- Saves The Day

● Before you settle on your band name, do a quick check: do the letters spell out something potentially embarrassing like POO or ASS or KKK?

Abunchofwordsthatruntogether:

Worst Offenders:

- Boysetsfire;

- Skycamefalling;

- Lostprophets;

- Alexisonfire;

- Highasakite

● Whatisthepointofthis? Isyourspacebarbroken? Throwagoddamnspaceinthere.

Band names with unnecessary numbers:

Worst Offenders:

- Blink-182;

- Death from above 1979;

- Sum 41

● "The Jackson 5". That makes sense, there are five Jacksons in the band. "4 Non Blondes". They were four dark-haired women, totally reasonable. But when you just take a random-ass number and stick it into your band name, it really makes no sense 823.

Bands with misfits references:
Worst Offenders:

- American nightmare,

- Some kind of hate;

- Texas is the reason

● Misfits songs are already references to B-horror movies, so no need to make your band name a reference to a reference and throw us down this band name Inception hole.

Deliberately lowercase:
Worst Offenders:
- letlive.;

- fun.;
- blessthefall
● This wouldn't be so annoying if these bands weren't always the types of people who make a point to say: "Actually, the first letter is lowercase. Can you change that?" you are obnoxious. go fuck yourself.
ŠPIGL – DVOJNICI POZNATIH

Džon Klejton (ESPN) → Mr. Makki (Saut Park)

TLL

Band names with references to God/religion:

Worst Offenders:

- mewithoutYou;

- xDISCIPLEx A.D.;

- Underoath

● First off, if you're in a Christian rock band, chances are less than 0.0001% you'll actually be listenable anyway. So it actually makes sense that you would name yourself something terrible, sort of like the way a skunk uses its foul odor to warn people to stay away from it.

Bnd nms tht dlt thr vwls (Band names that delete their vowels):

Worst Offenders:

- MGMT;

- RVIVR;

- DNTEL;

- The Weeknd

● T-shirt companies don't charge you by the letter, guys. Go ahead and splurge on the vowels. Otherwise just sound like a bunch of fckng mrns.

Band names with TV/movie references:

Worst Offenders:

- Fall out boy;

- Atreyu;

- Say anything;

- Save Ferris;

- Veruca Salt;

- Mogwai;

- Chunk! No, captain Chunk!

● Having a band name that references a movie or a TV show says one of two things: You are a supernerd who doesn't get out of the house much and/or you are too lazy and original to come up with your own name. No one wants to listen to a band named after The Nutty Professor or whatever.

Band names that are book titles:

Worst Offenders:

- The devil wears Prada;

- Of mice & men;

- As I lay dying;

- Fahrenheit 451

● Band names shouldn't sound like something from the bargain bin at Barnes and Noble. If you come up with a band name that's also the title of a book, you have failed and need to start over. That name has already been taken and the author probably doesn't want their book associated with your shitty metalcore act.

Just a bunch of random symbols and numbers and shit:

Worst Offenders:

- 3Oh3!;

- Sunn O)));

- (həd) p.e.; !!!

● Make it easy on the poor person designing your merch. Don't make people have to bust out the character map just to put together a show poster.

Band names with any of the following: blood/bleed, die/dying/death, kill/killing, burn/burning, bury/buried:

Worst Offenders: Too goddamn many to list.

● Yeah, we get it. Your band is a bunch of tough guys. No need to drive that home by making your band name all murder-y.

Super Emo band names:

Worst Offenders:

- The Juliana theory;

- From autumn to ashes;

- Further seems forever;

- Planes mistaken for stars

● Just avoid words like "theory," "stars," "sky," or anything else that sounds like it came out of Emo Mad Libs.

Beach shit:

Worst Offenders:

- Beach house;

- Best coast;

- Wavves

● Sort of ironic that these bands are always filled with people who need to apply SPF 600.

Animals:

Worst Offenders:

- Grizzly bear;

- Golden retriever;

- The mountain goats;

- Foals;

- Panda bear

● Nothing says you got stoned and watched a documentary on the National Geographic Channel quite like naming your band after a breed of animal.

Band names that are misleadingly badass:

Worst Offenders:

- Warpaint,

- Death vessel

(od domaćih: "Kerber")

● Your band name should represent who you are as a band. If you name yourself something badass, you'd better downtune your guitars and crank out blast beats or sing about killing cops or something. Or at the very least, don't sound like some sissy indie rock band.

(preuzeto odavde)

Tokio hotel

HRONIKA YHV-A

Poglavlje prvo: Definicija

U velikom prostranstvu Usenet-a, u udaljenoj hijerarhiji, postoji jedna država. Država bez teritorije i bez granica. Država sa vojskom i zakonima. Država koju najbolje opisuje sledeći komentar jednog od žitelja: "Ovo je crna rupa useneta, iz koje je sve postalo i u koju će se sve utopiti kad dođe vreme, ovo je država sa svojim univerzumom, oružanim snagama, obaveštajnom službom i još mnogo čime još, osvojili smo u svojim pohodima širenja države pola yu. teritorija i niko nikad nije uspeo da nam se suprotstavi, a nije da nisu pokušavali" Naravno, država o kojoj je reč je nezavisna konfa YHV(yu.humor.vic).

Iako u imenu ima 'vic' na YHV-u nećete naći viceve. Promakne po neki, ali je u principu takav vid humora strogo zabranjen. Prekršiocima ove zabrane slede strašne kazne koje ne bih ovde pominjao da nas ne bi tužili društvu za zaštitu životinja i zelenog povrća. Specijalna vrsta humora koje je ovde vrlo cenjena je takozvani 'beZsmisleni tred'. Kao što samo ime kaže u pitanju je tred (niz poruka pod zajedničkim subject-om - prim. aut.) bez ikakvog smisla. Još uvek nije objašnjeno zbog čega se žitelji ove po svemu specifične države toliko lože na beZsmislene tredove, ali ni Kenedijevo ubistvo još uvek nije razjašnjeno, tako da se ne brinemo preterano.

Još jedan od čudnih običaja ovih ljudi su takozvana 'sastančenja', masovna okupljanja, sa jelom, pićem i žrtvovanjem nevidljivih devica. Odakle su te jedne devojke, kao i na koji su način i kome žrtvovane, niko ne zna iz prostog razloga što niko nije uspeo da vidi same devojke, pošto su jelte, nevidljive. Iako slučajnim prolaznicima može izgledati da je u pitanju obično mladalačko (jer se većina žitelja krije iza mladih, naivnih i nevinih lica - prim. aut.) druženje u pitanju je mnogo više od toga. Na takvim okupljanjima su rušene vlade (ove poremećene individue pokazuju izrazito neprijateljstvo prema ljudima koji se zovu vlada - prim. aut.), birani predsednici, donošeni zakoni i vršene razne ostale mutne radnje.

Vidim da sam se zaneo malo pa ne bi bilo loše da stanem. Mislim, mogao bih ja ovako do sutra da pričam o YHV-u, ali ne bih da odajem i ostale državne tajne.

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