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UPI�I SLOVA
(test je iz bosansko-hercegova�kog ud�benika za bo�nja�ki
jezik – nije nam poznato za koji je to razred)
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YO MOMMA…
● Yo mama so fat her
nickname is "Lardo" (vrsta
masnog jela)
● Yo mama so fat people
jog around her for exercise
● Yo mama so fat she
went to the movies and sat next to everyone
● Yo mama so fat she has
been declared a natural habitat for Condors
● Yo mama so fat you
have to roll over twice to get off her...
● Yo mama so fat she was
floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world
● Yo mama so fat she lay
on the beach and people run around yelling "Free Willy!"
● Yo mama so fat when
you get on top of her your ears pop!
● Yo mama so fat when
she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
● Yo mama so fat she
goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
● Yo mama so fat when
she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
● Yo mama so fat she had
to go to "Sea World" to get baptized
● Yo mama so fat she got
to iron her pants on the driveway
● Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
● Yo mama so fat she got
to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
● Yo mama so fat when
she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
● Yo mama so fat when
she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
● Yo mama so fat the
highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
● Yo mama so fat when
she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
● Yo mama so fat when
she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
● Yo mama so fat when
she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
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● Yo mama so fat she
fell in love and broke it. ● Yo mama so fat when
she gets on the scale it says "To be continued…" ● Yo mama so fat when
she gets on the scale it says "We don't do livestock" ● Yo mama so fat she's
got her own area code! ● Yo mama so fat she
looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon! ● Yo mama so fat NASA
has to orbit a satellite around her! ● Yo mama so fat
whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! ● Yo mama so fat when
she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... ● Yo mama so fat she's
got "Amtrak" written on her leg. ● Yo mama so fat even
Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction! ● Yo mama so fat I had
to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side! ● Yo mama so fat she
wakes up in sections! ● Yo mama so fat when
she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! ● Yo mama so fat she
rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar! ● Yo mama so fat when
she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! ● Yo mama so fat when
she bungee jumps, she goes straight to hell! ● Yo mama so fat when
she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!! ● Yo mama so fat she's
on both sides of the family! |
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● Yo mama so fat she's
got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
● Yo mama so fat that
her senior pictures had to be arial views!
● Yo mama so fat
everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
● Yo mama so fat she
fell and made the Grand Canyon!
● Yo mama so fat she sat
on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
● Yo mama so fat she has
a wooden leg with a kickstand!
● Yo mama so fat she has
to use a VCR as a beeper!
● Yo mama so fat when
she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
● Yo mama so fat she got
hit by a parked car!
● Yo mama so fat they
have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
● Yo mama so fat she has
a run in her blue-jeans!
● Yo mama so fat they
use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
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● Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground. ● Yo mama so fat when
she back up she beeps. ● Yo mama so fat she has
to buy two airline tickets. ● Yo mama so fat she
influences the tides. ● Yo mama so fat that
when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas. ● Yo mama so fat the
animals at the zoo feed her. ● Yo mama so fat when
she dances at a concert the whole band skips. ● Yo mama so fat the
Aids quilt wouldn't cover her ● Yo mama so fat she
stands in two time zones. ● Yo mama so fat she
left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip-flops. ● Yo mama so fat you
have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to
get her through ● Yo mama so fat when
she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps. ● Yo mama so fat she
cant reach her back pocket. ● Yo mama so fat when
she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back! |
● Yo mama so fat she
lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
● Yo mama so fat sets
off car alarms when she runs.
● Yo mama so fat she
uses redwoods to pick her teeth
● Yo mama so fat the
only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
● Yo mama so fat she put
on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out
boulevard.
● Yo mama so fat she
stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
● Yo mama so fat that
she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she
caused an eclipse.
● Yo mama so fat she
hoola-hooped the super bowl.
● Yo mama so fat they
tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to
clean it.
● Yo mama so fat when
she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
● Yo mama so fat we went
to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
● Yo mamma's so fat that
when she was cremated, all the flights in Europe got cancelled
● Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off,
people thought she was backing up
● Yo momma so fat her nickname is
"DAMN"
● Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and
two buses just to get on the bitchs good side!
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● Yo momma so fat when she goes to an
amusement park, people try to ride HER! ● Yo momma so fat she fell and made the
Grand Canyon! ● Yo momma so fat that when she hauls
ass, she has to make two trips! ● Yo momma so fat even her clothes have
stretch marks! ● Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked
car! ● Yo momma so fat she has a run in her
blue-jeans! ● Yo momma so fat when she wears a
Malcom X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back! ● Yo momma so fat the National Weather
Agency has to assign names to her farts ● Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona - class
Battleship ● Yo momma so fat she accidently got a
747 caught in her teeth ● Yo momma so fat to her "light
food" means under 4 Tons ● Yo momma so fat The Himalayas are
practices runs to prepare for her ● Yo momma so fat she stepped on a
talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off!!! ● Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist
size is larger than her IQ!!! |
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● Yo momma so fat she was zoned for
commercial development
● Yo momma so fat she won "Miss Bessie
the Cow 94"
● Yo momma so fat she has her own brand of
jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans
● Yo momma so fat she has more rolls than a
"Mary Jane" truck
● Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to
watch "60 minutes"
● Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17
(under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
● Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick
on her head just to make-up her mind
● Yo momma so stupid she hears its chilly
outside so she gets a bowl
● Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for
her IQ!
● Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a
grocery store and starved!
● Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put
M&Ms in alphabetical order!
● Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a
cordless phone!
● Yo momma so stupid she bought a
solar-powered flashlight!
● Yo momma so stupid she thinks a
quarterback is a refund!
● Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see
Juice.
● Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car
for gas money.
● Yo momma so stupid she asked you
"What is the number for 911"
● Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to
bed to see how long she slept.
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● Yo momma so stupid when she read on her
job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K." ● Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a
shoot out. ● Yo momma so stupid she stole free
bread. ● Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to
the superbowl. ● Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and
Butthead look like Nobel Prize winners. ● Yo momma so stupid she thought she
needed a token to get on "Soul Train". (emisija sa disko muzikom) ● Yo momma so stupid when asked on an
application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday
too." ● Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi
challenge and chose Jif. ● Yo momma so stupid when you stand next
to her you hear the ocean! ● Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! |
● Yo momma so stupid she thinks "Fleetwood
Mac" is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
● Yo momma so stupid that she thought "Boyz
II Men "was a day care center.
● Yo momma so stupid when she went to take
the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
● Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the
window and went up.
● Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to
see "Purple Rain".
● Yo momma so stupid that under
"Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on
Phonics."
● Yo momma so stupid she watches "The
Three Stooges" and takes notes.
● Yo momma so stupid was born on
Independence Day and cant remember her birthday.
● Yo momma so stupid she couldnt read an
audio book
● Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to
get rid of the 7 day itch.
● Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to
cook a 3 minute egg
● Yo momma so stupid she has to ask for
help to use hamburger helper
● Yo momma so stupid she went to Disneyworld
and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home.
AUTOSTOPERSKI VODI� KROZ GALAKSIJU
Uglavnom bezopasni
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Ni�ta ne putuje
br�e od svetlosti, sa mogu�im izuzetkom lo�ih vesti, koje se pokoravaju
sopstvenim zakonima.
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Narod Hingefrila
zapravo je poku�ao da sagradi svemirske brodove koje su pokretale lo�e vesti,
ali ovi nisu radili naro�ito dobro, a osim toga nisu bili nikako dobrodo�li kud
god bi stigli.
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● ● ● Kada je stigao
pogon beskona�ne neverovatno�e i kada su �itave planete neo�ekivano po�ele da
se preobra�avaju u sladoled od banane, slavni istorijski fakultet
Maksimegalonskog fakulteta najzad se predao, zatvorio du�an i prepustio svoje
zgrade sve br�e rastu�em fakultetu za teologiju i vaterpolo, koji je ove
tra�io ve� godinama. ● ● ● Dalje
ispitivanje brzo je utvrdilo �ta se dogodilo. Meteorit je probu�io veliku
rupu u brodu. Brod je nije ranije opazio, jer je meteorit glatko odsekao onaj
deo opreme koji je trebalo da utvrdi da li je brod pogodio meteorit. ● ● ● Zimi
temperatura pada poprili�no ispod zakonskog minimuma, ili ta�nije, �inila bi
to da je iko imao dovoljno zdravog razuma da odredi zakonski minimum.
Poslednji put kad je neko napravio listu stotinu glavnih karakternih osobina,
zdrav razum zaglavio je negde oko 79-tog mesta. ● ● ● |
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(...) ve�ina
stvorova koji �ive po ni�im delovima utrobe pacova ionako se ne sla�u ni sa
�ime, tako da njihovo mi�ljenje mo�e i treba da se odbaci.
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Kada je jesen u
Njujorku, vazduh zaudara kao da neko pe�e jarce u njemu, a ako ste ba� toliko
�eljni da di�ete, najzgodniji plan jeste da otvorite prozor i gurnete glavu u
neku zgradu.
Re�enje kviza sa tre�e strane: Vitni Hjuston (Whitney Huston, 1963-2012)
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