=●=
=●=
EN362 - Nedelja, 13.
II 2011.
|
|
|
- Ako su prebrojali sve cigle
- knjigovodstvo
- Ako su prebrojali sve cigle više
puta - revizija
- Ako su cigle razbacane bez
vidljivog sistema po cijeloj sobi - razvoj
i istraživanje
- Ako su cigle sistematski
podijeljene po cijeloj sobi - planiranje
|
- Ako se gađaju međusobno
ciglama – voditelji proizvodnje - Ako su sve cigle usitnili
u sitne dijelove - IT sektor - Ako samo sjede bez veze
okolo cigli i razgovaraju o svemu i svačemu - personal - Ako su već svi davno otišli
doma - marketing - Ako besciljno gledaju kroz
prozor i doimaju se odsutnim – strateško
planiranje - Ako su veoma razdraženi i
energično diskutiraju međusobno, ali nisu pomaknuli niti jednu jedinu ciglu -
uprava / top management |
|
- Ako su sazidali
profesionalnu peku s dimnjakom, spremili dobar gablec i svi su već pijani – tehnička služba
- Ako su sve cigle nestale – vlada RH
Zbog loše slike
(radi se o fotografisanoj stranici iz nepoznatog časopisa), odlučili smo da
ovaj članak objavimo kao tabelu. U pitanju je stvarni priručnik za graničare.
|
Engleski
za graničnu policiju English
for Border Police |
||
|
Engleski |
Bosanski |
Izgovor |
|
I don't
understand English so well |
Ne razumijem
engleski dobro. |
Aj dont
anderstand ingliš vel. |
|
You do not meet
konditions to enter BiH. |
Vi ne
ispunjavate uslove za ulazak u BiH. |
Ju du not mit
kondičns tu enter Bi Aj Ejč. |
|
All right, you
can go. Thank you. |
U redu, možete
ići. Hvala. |
Ol rajt, ju ken
go. Tenk ju. |
|
Turn the engine
off. |
Ugasite motor. |
Trn di endžin
of. |
|
Open the trunk,
please. |
Otvorite gepek,
molim. |
Open d trank,
pliz. |
|
Step out of the
vehicle, please. |
Izađite iz
vozila, molim. |
Step aut of d
vijekl pliz. |
|
Where are you
traveling to? |
Gdje putujete? |
Ver ar ju
traveling tu? |
|
The reason of
visit to BiH. |
Razlog posjete
BiH. |
D rizon of
vizit to Bi Aj Ejč |
|
Which town you
are going to? |
U koji grad
idete? |
Vič taun ju ar
going tu? |
|
How long are
you stayin in the country? |
Koliko dugo
ostajete u zemlji? |
Hau long ar ju
steing in d kantri? |
|
May I see your
documents? |
Mogu li
pogledati vaša dokumenta? |
Mej aj si jor
dokjuments? |
|
Welcome |
Dobro došli |
Velkam |
|
You are under
arrest |
Uhapšeni ste |
Ju ar ander
arest |
|
Stop or I will
shoot |
Stop ili pucam |
Stop or aj vil šut |
|
Don't shoot! |
Ne pucaj! |
Dont šut! |
|
|
|
Porijeklom sam iz Jajca. Rodio sam se u Zadarskoj bolnici
sa 5 dana zakašnjenja, jer ni tada nisam volio točnost. S obzirom da sam imao
defektan bubreg, bio sam prisiljen biti u inkubatoru neko vrijeme. Mozak mi tad
nije bio razvijen pa se gugutanja i tepanja ljudi koji su me došli gledati ne
sjećam. Samo se sjećam riječi "lijep",
|
"obdaren",
"ćelav na oca" i "bezzub". Ne znam kako, ali i dan danas mi
to govore, pa po tome zaključujem da ću ostat
vječno mlad. Anyway, živio sam s roditeljima kao podstanar u predjelu grada zvanom Stanovi. Tu sam prvi put prohodao, naučio koristiti WC školjku, a i izrasli su mi mliječni zubi. Prije vrtića pod nazivom "Ciciban", mama me naučila čitati i pisati, zavezati pertle na cipelama i plivati, a tata me naučio voziti biciklu. Vrtića se baš i ne sjećam,
osim jednog krasnog događaja, a taj je da mi je jedan dan Marica prišla,
prislonila obje ruke na moje obraze i poljubila me u usta. Taj čin su dečki
iskoristili da mi se rugaju, tako da sam bio prisiljen uzvratiti paljbom s
obližnjim kamenčićima. |
|
razvijem
svoju maštu i uživam u tom posebnom svijetu. Naravno, nisam Zanemario ni
igranje s loptom. Kao pravi Zadranin, trenirao sam košarku. Uz to sam se bavio
i plivanjem te biciklizmom, zbog čega danas imam zavidnu mišićnu masu i
Apolonsku građu tijela. Djevojke sam skroz zanemario, kompjuteri su mi bili
zanimljiviji, a djevojke su predstavljale nešto balavo, nešto što ima dobre ocjene,
a nema mozga, nešto što se smije bez razloga. Ukratko, nešto nedokučivo.
Međutim, jednog dana, jedna od pripadnica tog nedokučivog
spola je došla kod mene doma. Pokazao sam joj svoj kompjuter i objašnjavao joj
svoje divljenje nad jednom igrom na dotičnom kompjuteru, kad me dotična
odlučila iznenaditi. Skinula se gola i rekla "Vidi što ja imam". U
maniri pravog istraživača, pristupio sam istraživanju njenog tijela, te otkrio
da je to daleko zabavnije od kompjutera. Prodao sam kompjuter i posvetio se
dotičnoj djevojci. Medutim, nešto kasnije, otkrila se nedokučivost tog spola,
jer me je dotična odlučila napustiti i ostaviti bez njenog tijela i bez mog
kompjutera. Tada sam shvatio da novac pokreće svijet i da se moram zaposliti.
To sam i učinio, no poslovni svijet je imao tonu mana, koje meni nisu
odgovarale, tako da sam bio prisiljen uvijek iznova tražiti neki drugi posao.
Novcem koji sam pritom zaradio, sam kupio novi kompjuter, a i iskoristio ga za
udvaranje tom čudnom ženskom dijelu populacije. Išlo je poprilično dobro i statistički
gledano, imao sam vrlo dobar uspjeh. S obzirom da danas imam 31 godinu, ovdje
moram završiti priču, jer još nije okončana.
(Gorštak)
(vjerovali ili ne, ali gospođa
mi se javila nakon ovoga, rekla da sam ju oduševio u moru bezličnih životopisa
i da sam dobio posao…)
— Vi mora da ste iz Libana ako… (poglavlje LIII)
2779.
You use your forehead and eyebrows to point something out and you walk with
attitude
2780. You get plastic surgery at least once in your lifetime
2781. You call a night club
"a Night" and Dunkin' Donuts "theDunkin'"
2782. You go shopping with high heels and a micro skirt
2783. When you are indoors with your sunglass still on, coz you are too cool
and you could always use another pair of sunglasses
2784. You are always aware of all the political issues around the world
2785. You are so "class" while everyone else is "nawar" ("vulgar"
in Arabic)
2786. You won't drive anything that's not a Mercedes, BMW, or Hummer
2787. You constantly mix Arabic, French, and English when speaking Okay merci
kteer, yallah bye!", "HI kifak ca va") or You always start a
sentence with "wlak" (wlak Hi, wlak waynak? wlak 3esh min shefak?)
2788. You don't listen but only talk and you create noise wherever u go (that's
why u hear others saying "i'm sure he/she is Lebanese")
2789. You say you hate all Khaleejis but you'll go work in Saudi Arabia or
Dubai in a heartbeat
|
2790. Syrians are the butt of all jokes 2792. You can't do anything in life unless you have a wasta. (connections) 2802.
You dress like you're going clubbing all day everyday, probably because you do. |
|
2804. Your aunt is always asking when she can belly dance at your wedding
2805. When you arrive at an airport you find like 20 relatives waiting to greet
you
2806. You always curse Lebanese people when you are in Lebanon, but when you
live abroad you only make Lebanese friends
2807. The men always fight over who pays the dinner bill
2808. You teach Westerners all the Lebanese swear words
2809. You have to keep explaining to Westerns that Beirut is not just a
drinking game
2810. Your refer to other Lebanese guys as "Cuz" "ya man"
or "Bro"
2811. Your extended family is over your house all the time, discussing the
latest family drama
2812. At least one conversation a day is about being Lebanese
2813. You use your mobile phone only to make missed calls or to receive missed
call…
|
|
2814. You think wearing a leather jacket during the summer is cool 2817. You are very outgoing and open to other cultures
2822. You are always right! |
2823.
You refer to your dad's friends as "‘amo" (Uncle)!
2824. Your eighth wonder of the world is Haifa Wehbe
2825. You believe that you are not only perfect… You are Lebanese too
— Vi mora da ste iz Luizijane ako… (SAD, poglavlje LIV)
2826.
You think that crawfish is a
direct gift from the Good Lord to us.
2827. You save newspapers,
not for recycling but for tablecloths at crawfishboils
2828. You can properly
pronounce Lafayette, Bossier, Natchitoches, Opelousas, Shongaloo,
Pontchartrain, Ouachita, and you know that New Orleans doesn't have a long
"e" sound anywhere in it.
2829. You have ever had a
crawfish boil, fish fry, etc outside during a hurricane warning.
2830. You cringe every time
you hear an actor with a Southern or Cajun accent in a "New
Orleans-based" movie or TV show.
2831. You know everything
goes better with Tony's or Tabasco.
2832. You describe the first
cool snap (below 70°F - 21°C) as good gumbo weather.
2833. You reinforce your
attic to store Mardi Gras beads.
2834. Your ancestors are
buried above the ground.
2835. You sit down to eat
boiled crawfish and your host says, "Don't eat the dead ones", and
you know what he means.
2836. You don't learn until
high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.
|
|
2837. You believe that purple, green, and gold look good together. 2838. Your last name
isn't pronounced the way it's spelled. 2843.
You know what it means for
food to come "dressed". |
2844. You use "fix"
as a verb. Example: "I am fixing to go to the store".
2845. Your sunglasses fog up when you step
outside.
2846. You push little old
ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras beads.
2847. Little old ladies push you
out of the way to catch Mardi Gras beads.
2848. You leave a parade with
footprints on your hands.
2849. You know that
Tchoupitoulas is a street and not a disease.
2850. Your grandparents are
called "Maw-Maw" and "Paw-Paw".
=●=
