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Nedelja, 17. VII 2011.

U ovom broju donosimo: 2. Uleti Startovanja curama koji se NE preporučuju 3. Ultra Boban Pesma nepoznatog leskovačkog repera 4. Poštovane komšije Poruka od zgradonačelnika 5. Špigl - dvojnici poznatih Foto-feljton: dvojnici poznatih ličnosti. 5. Locirajte se! Vi mora da ste iz… ako je većina ovih tvrdnji tačna (Nijagarini Vodopadi, Nju Hempšir, Nju Ingland; 3468-3500)

Sačuvajte ovaj broj! Možete od njega da napravite: - molersku kapu - brodić - avion koji leti… Urednicima ostalih časopisa: Budite fer i ostavite link za ovaj časopis kad već uzimate materijal odavde!

Obaveštenje: Zbog godišnjeg odmora, naredni broj će izaći u ponedeljak.

ULETI

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.

2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one? 8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight. 9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me. 10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside store so I could ride you all day long for a quarter. 11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag. 12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked. 13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven? 14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. 15. Are those real? 16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy. 17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

19. (Look down at your crotch) Well, it's not just going to suck itself.

20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

22. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

27. My friend wants to know if you think I'm cute.

28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

39. Da odemo u moju sobu? Složio bi te ko metar drva. 40. Imaš tako dobru sisu da ti druga i ne treba. 41. Poder'o bi te ko budala 100 eura! 42. Baš si srce! Je l' mogu biti infarkt da te dernem večeras? 43. Tata ti je terorist. Ispala si prava bomba! 44. Vidiš neku žensku u kafiću, uzmeš malo leda, odeš do nje i razbiješ ga, i kažeš: "Sad kad smo razbili led, mogli bi razgovarati" 45. Lijepa ti je odjeća. Bolje bi izgledala na podu moje sobe. 46. Ja se toliko loše je*em da to moraš probati. 47. Kakav doručak želiš ujutro? 48. Imam još samo par dana života.

49. Prijatelji me zovu Djed Mraz. Hoćeš li mi sjediti u krilu?

50. Možda nisam najzgodniji tip u ovom disku, ali sam jedini koji razgovara sa tobom.

51. Istina da mi fali par zuba, al' zato ima više mjesta za tvoj jezik.

52. Oćemo se znojit' zajedno?

53. Znaš šta bi lijepo izgledalo na tebi? Ja!

54. Ja zarađujem više no što ti možeš potrošiti.

55. Je li ovdje tako vruće ili si to ti?

ULTRA BOBAN

Da li od gibanicu ili od ribanjke  Kad vidi kriminalca iznabuta mu ga majke Ultra Boban je zaštitnik na slabe On energiju crpe od pitu svoje babe Kad izruča (gi)banicu energiju dobije I odma' može sa svakog da se bije On na svet gleda kroz drugu perspektivu I njegovo se gledište zasniva na rakiju On se oduzne i sve se iscepi I onda misli da je kul. Ete ti! Svi ga njega cene i svi ga obožava Jer najjeftinu papriku na pijac on prodava I cigare "Laki" 40 dinara krade - 33. - 33? - Ali nije toj za svi On na veresiju ne dava bilo kome Već samo kog poznaje, dabome On pred zadrugu voli pivo da sobuje Ali posle troje gorušicu najebuje On mahom radi šverc sa pilećim batacima Al' valja i papriku u najlonskijem džacima Da li je to od butanje po kafane, ali kriminalci gi skrši od tepanje. Jer Ultra Boban je karate treniraja i Ramba i Konana sve je iscepaja. I Fleš Gordona je jednom šamarao jer mu letećim tanjirom papriku prejebao.

Transliteracija: Poštovane komšije, lopata za sneg koja se nalazi u sušaoni provereno NE UJEDA, pa je slobodno možete uzimati i povremeno očistiti sneg koji napada na stazu ispred zgrade!!!

On džaci sa cementom za batulovo dizao
i na istom načinom dosta ojačao
jer on se u Vijetnam tri godine tepaja
pa gi tamo na svima krštenice iscepaja.

On u Batulovo zanat je ispekija i tamo Kinezima odma' gi je rekija. Jednoga dana, mislim sreda da je bila na Miću iz Stublu se kola zaglavila. Mića se čovek uplašio i možda si otišo da nije Ultra Boban slučajno naišo. Jeste da je farmerke u blato sve usraja, al' zato je bar kola izguraja. - iz blato Godzila iz Batulovo naišo drugog dana. Počeo da pljuje neke vatre i da pravi neka sranja. Ultra Boban odma' mu je prišo da mu lupi dva šamara, da bi si otišo. Da ga Boban ne bi napravio lom Godzila je podvukja rep i pobegja dom. Jer on kad zama'ne, on napravi krater. Tako na Godzilu on jebaja bi mu mater… - i sestru!

Prevod: Žurka u dvorištu (osim ako ste pandur, onda nema žurke - produžite dalje)

(od naše čitateljke iz Leskovca; link za pesmu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SV9-qDeSL-I)

LOCIRAJTE SE

¤  Vi mora da ste iz Nijagarinih Vodopada ako… (CDN, ON, poglavlje LXII)

3468. You know who Snook is, and have probably met someone just like him. 3469. At least once, you have endured the ferry ride from Port-aux-Basques to North Sydney by staying in the bar as long as possible, but then wish you had made more of an effort to find a comfortable chair to sleep in. 3470. You know that Here and Now is not just where you are at this moment. (gradovi) 3471. Most parties you attend are either held in the kitchen or eventually end up there. 3472. You don't think that those "poor souls" setting up their campers in gravel pits are homeless. 3473. You're not offended by the term, "homo milk"

ŠPIGL - DVOJNICI POZNATIH Britni Spirs → Voldemort

3474. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary and more polite than, "Huh?"
3475. There are handicap parking places in front of the skating rinks.
3476. Banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
3477. You use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so you don't miss a call from someone you didn't want to talk to in the first place.
3478. You buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.
3479. You've visited somewhere else in Canada and people stop you to say "hey, i know Paul, you know him?" as if theres only one.
3480. You've lost something in your yard and then found it when the snow melted
3481. A co-worker sends an email explaining that he will be late due to the moose in his yard
3482. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
3483. You know what Molson's Canadian "The Rant" is and actually thought it was somewhat true.
3484. You know what a poutine is and how to make it.
3485. You season your food with beer instead of wine most of the time.
3486. You know that when it's 23°C outside, it's a very warm day.

3487. You know its really called a bathroom not a lavatory, powder-room or restroom. 3488. You've ever said, "I need more flannel clothing". 3489. You cheered for the worst person on "Canadian Idol", just because they were from Newfoundland 3490. Everytime you meet a mainlander you want to screech them in! 3491. You know that "squish" doesn't necessarily mean "to squeeze". It could just mean "not straight". ¤  Vi mora da ste iz Nju Hempšira ako… (SAD, poglavlje LXIX) 3492. You use to go get drunk in the woods since one of your friends got a car you now go to Plymouth State or UNH to get drunk. 3493. You can actually pronounce and spell "Winnipesauke". 3494. Motorcycle Weekend is the highlight of your summer… not! 3495. You don't think theirs any thing unusual about a liquor store in the middle of the highway 3496. Everyone around you is bundled up and you are outside in shorts and a t-shirt.

3497. If while you're out there, you decide it is a bit cold, but you are too stubborn to admit it and go get a jacket.

¤  Vi mora da ste iz Nove Engleske ako… (SAD, poglavlje LXX)

(Nju Ingland je severoistočni deo SAD i obuhvata države: Mejn, Nju Hempšir, Vermont, Masačusets, Rod Ajland i Konektikat)

3498. Someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there.
3499. If you hit deer on a regular basis.
3500. You know that the things you need to start a campfire are: matches, newspaper, tinder, sticks, fuel logs, and spent motor oil.

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