EN798 - Nedelja, 29. I 2023./7529.
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1. Ukočenost 2. Jaukanje
pri saginjanju 3. Korišćenje
fraze "Kad sam ja bio mlad…" 4. Korišćenje
fraze "U moje vreme…" 5. Gubitak
kose 6.
Nepoznavanje muzičke top-liste 7. Pojačana dlakavost
na ušima i u nosu 8.
Izbegavanje kafića sa glasnom muzikom 9. Žaljenje
na bol u zglobovima 10.
Zaboravljanje tuđih imena 11. Biranje
odeće zbog udobnosti, a ne zbog izgleda 12. Da su svi na vodećim pozicijama jednostavno premladi 13. Spavanje pred TV-om. 15. Nerazumevanje mladalačke kulture 16. Nevešto rukovanje modernom tehnologijom |
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17. Tehnološka neupućenost
18. Stalno prigovaranje i žaljenje
19. Nošenje naočara na lancu oko vrata
20. Nepoznavanje modernih brendova
21. Izbegavanje nošenja teških stvari
22. Stalno prigovaranje na televizijski program
23. Zaboravljate gde ste ostavili naočare, torbu,
ključeve…
24. Gledanje ozbiljnih emisija
25. Spora vožnja
26. Biranje mirne večere kod kuće umesto izlaska u grad
27. Zanimanje za antikvitete i buvljake
28. Spavanje nakon jedne čaše vina
29. Teško skidanje kilograma
30. Baštovanstvo
31. Ulaganje u antiejdžing kreme
32. Uživanje u slaganju puzla i rešavanju ukrštenica
33. Oštar jezik u svakoj prilici iako to nije uvek primereno
♈ Ovan
Suprotstavlja se nagonu da prevrne
sto kada konobar donese pogrešno jelo.
♉ BIK
"Ja
ću uobičajeno"
♊ BLIZANCI
Ne mogu da se odluče, pa kažu
konobaru da ih "iznenadi jelom".
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♋ RAK Skupi sve prljave tanjire i escajg
kako bi pomogao konobaru. ♌ LAV Pokušava da sedne na čelo okruglog
stola. ♍ DEVICA Bilo bi mnogo ukusnije da su
stavili manje origana. ♎ VAGA (konobar se predstavi)
"Ljudi, mislim da konobar flertuje sa mnom!" ♏ ŠKORPIJA Setno gleda u plamen sveće i
razmišlja koga da zapali. |
♐ STRELAC
"Jeo sam istu ovakvu pastu kad
sam 3 nedelje živeo u Rimu."
♑ JARAC
Smišlja kako da podeli račun na 14
delova.
♒ VODOLIJA
Čuje da su gosti u restoranu
neprijatni prema konobaru i skače u njegu odbranu.
♓ RIBE
"Mnogo mi se sviđa enterijer
ovog restorana!" (zaboravi da pogleda jelovnik)
The world is full of people with all kinds of
character traits. We're all different, and there are several factors that could
influence our lovely and sometimes not so personalities – perhaps you won the
lottery and got your mom's wittiness, or maybe you mastered your first-class
sarcasm skills during those challenging teenage years.
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In other words, you'll never know what sort of person you'll end up meeting on your way, and it's equally terrifying and exciting. Sometimes you get lucky and meet someone with very lovable qualities – but every so often, you might meet a person who will frankly make you question your entire existence. This ex-teacher blessed the entire
comment section on one of Reddit's communities by sharing his odd yet
somewhat amusing story. A member of the group asked: "Who's the dumbest
person you've ever met?" – where the author revealed what it was like
teaching a very peculiar 9th grader. In the end, the comment received 17,8K
upvotes and remained the number one topic of the whole thread. (more info: Reddit) Sure thing, teaching little kids and young teens is
exciting, and even rewarding. You inspire them to reach their potential,
whilst watching them grow and turn into these great individuals with their |
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own unique mindsets. However, there are times when a student will make you have an existential crisis, and this story is just about that.
The
story took place in Virginia back in 2012, when the OP was on his last year of
teaching. In fact, "Bored Panda" managed to
reach out to the author and the man revealed that since then he changed his
field and is now working in digital product management in Las Vegas, "where I get sunburnt to hell, eat a bunch,
and then try to walk it off hiking and climbing with my wife and two dogs."
Ex-teacher shares a jaw-dropping story
about his rather unusual 9th grader
They might not understand how to
identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean
plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick not to judge fish for their tree
climbing ability, ya know.
I thought this was the rule when I
was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't
matter because he can't spell it anyway.
Kevin was a student of mine during
my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom with very little to show for
his academic past.
The OP
began his story by explaining how it's fairly normal for some students to be a
little bit behind, and that usually the teachers and the school are able to
release the kids' inner knowledge just by practicing and doing a bunch of
activities. Besides, people that tutor folks know not to judge a book by its
cover – however, in this instance, Kevin did manage to puzzle his whole school.
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He had moved a few times and thus was missing a lot of typical test scores that we use to try and ballpark their ability. Don't worry, it was a ballpark… We didn't make major decisions until we actually had a chance to talk and work with a student for a bit. I
thought: "That's fine. I'll just do some one-on-one with Kevin and see
what's up." One on one with Kevin was like conversing with someone who'd
forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible amnesia incident. There
was no evidence that he had learned anything past the 2nd grade… And now he
was in 9th grade. Flabbergasted, I figured we needed to get more serious with
this. If he was going to be in my class, I needed to know why and how. The author proceeded to explain
that Kevin had moved a lot, which is why he missed a bunch of test scores
that were typically required when moving schools. Though, it wasn't a huge
problem, and the ex-teacher decided to just have a little chat with Kevin to
see where he was at academically. Although, when the time came,
things didn't go as smoothly as the teacher would've wanted. The student
seemed very lost, and even led the author to think that he probably suffered
from a serious case of amnesia, as there were no other explanations. I decidet to meet with him, his guidance counselor, his parents, and
another teacher to see what was really going on. This is where it all became
clear. |
It was by some incredible fluke that
his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his
entire heritage was based ond blind luck and some type of sick divine
intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself.
Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of
this null achievement. Even my instructional lead, a woman who could find a
redeeming trait in a Balrog, failed to see any reason this kid or his family
should be alive today.
Kevin didn't seem to remember
anything past 2nd grade, which is when the author realized that he'd have to
find a new way of tutoring the kid. The first thing that made sense was to meet
with Kevin's family and counsellors to really understand why the student was so
behind. Though, when the meeting was over, the man connected the dots and
realized that the whole of Kevin's family has a similar character trait.
So here's a list of events that made it
abundantly clear that God exists and he's laughing uncontrollably:
- Kevin frequently
forgot when/where class was. On more than one occasion, I had to retrieve him
from other classroms.
- Kevin ate an
entire 24 pack of crayons, puked and then did it again the next day. This is
9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.
- Kevin's dad wrote
tuition checks and mailed them to me… his English teacher. This was a public
school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief
not explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to
spend it 711 after school.
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Bored
Panda asked the
author to share what kind of relationship Kevin had with his peers. To which
the ex-teacher replied: "He was a
spectacle, and it turned into a bit of a feedback loop… which ultimately is
what I think sort of led to the whole thing being what it ended up being.
He'd do something dumb, so a classmate would egg him on to do something else
dumb, and then that'd beget yet more dumb things. For instance, I'm fairly
confident that a good half of the stuff I wrote he did was because he got
dared to or encouraged to by a classmate." - Kevin was removed from the culinary arts
program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire…
twice. - Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resourse officer
and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn't him. - Kevin stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it was ringing. (Not that is wasn't his, not that he did it… No, he denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times before the end of the year. |
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After that, we wondered about
the most intriguing thing, which is where the student is now. The author
revealed that he actually used to run into Kevin's mom around town from time to
time. Though, the last thing the OP heard, which was sometime in the middle of
2020, was that Kevin was, in fact, doing quite well.
Moreover,
he ended up having a kid with a classmate the year after he was the OP's
student, and he believes that the reality of that sort of hit him like a
"burlap bag full of books," because Kevin managed to shape up and
graduate on time.
- Kevin's mom could
never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she
drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to).
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- Kevin tazed
himself in the neck before a football game. As well as that, Kevin was working in some kind of
leadership capacity in a fine dining kitchen and pursuing an associates in
business or something to that effect. He got married and he, his wife, and
their son own a home there in town. The author also revealed that for all
intents and purposes, his beloved student did better than a lot of his
classmates long term. - Kevin say the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The
highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot. - Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11. - Kevin stole another student's Iphone… and tried to sell it back to them. |
- Kevin spit on a
girl and said: "You should get out of those wet clothes." The girl
was the Spanish student teacher.
- Kevin didn't know
dogs and cats were different animals.
- Kevin tried to
download porn onto a computer in the library… at the circulation desk… while he
was logged on.
We also asked about Kevin's
relationship with school's staff and the OP said: "He was one of a whole cadre of kids that were frequent flyers for
detention or an AP's office, so they were largely unimpressed. By around
November or so, we'd given up on trying to figure out 'why' and were mostly
trying to just figure out how to get him on some kind of track forward.
Unfortunately, he had classmates whose behavioral issues required a lot more
attention."
- Kevin asked a
girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don't go to prom) by asking for
her phone number and then texting her his address.
- Kevin regularly
tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I
had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room.
- Kevin had several
allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They
were very concerned that "The holiday party" (it's high school – we
don't have those) would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note –
he was allergic to amoxicillin. (vrsta leka)
And
lastly, the author said that he's very delighted that Kevin's story has a happy
ending, and that it's been great knowing how his story has been making people
laugh for over 7 years.
Once
again, this proves how no one should ever judge a book by its cover, even if
the book is all weird and hilarious at times. The fact that Kevin managed to
achieve what the majority of his classmates couldn't is an incredibly positive
outcome.
- Kevin and his parents
took a trip to Nassau (how the f*ck did they even get airline tickets?) and
forgot all their luggage at home. I didn't believe him when he told me until I
talked to his mom, who told me first thing when I saw her at the bi-weekly
meeting.
- Kevin's grandfather
apparently passed away in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was
looking the other way that day.
Life is full of surprises, and
even though the OP's precious student might've made his last teaching year a
living hell – Kevin repaid everyone back by making god knows how many people
laugh. What do you think about Kevin?
(preuzeto sa Bored Panda)
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